Page 88
I furrowed my brow. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, clearly I am off-limits now. Thankfully, I am insulated by all of this.” She gestured around her stomach.
“Oh… that.”
“Yeah, the whole ‘growing a human’ buzzkill. It wasn’t that I didn’t want you. I do. It’s that I’m like… very much pregnant and I cannot ignore it.”
“It’s… fine,” I said. “And it also wouldn’t deter me.”
She burst out laughing. I sat nervously eating my fries, confused by why that was so funny. Mortified, a crimson flush crept up my neck.
“Sorry. That probably felt mean, but Cole, there are a million women in this industry who would fuck you—of all ages. You don’t have to settle for the helpless, complicated pregnant girl.”
“I’ve never settled for you.” The words left my mouth before I could hold back.
Suddenly, denying my attraction to Chloe was impossible. I just kept going, unable to apologize or read her face.
“Chloe, you are annoyingly kind, funny, and gorgeous. You’re great with kids and have so much patience. And you have the biggest fucking heart, okay? But if you think for a second I haven’t kicked myself for the way I have thirsted after you for all of the above, you’re wrong.”
Her jaw dropped. I waited for words, but none found her.
“Chloe, you can—”
Finally, she erupted. “Cole, that version of me is gone. You can understand it. You’re a parent.”
“Okay, maybe life is less carefree nowadays and maybe you don’t want to date. You’re probably not interested in sex until the kid is much older. I’m not pressuring you. It’s that I want you to know even if this isn’t some big thing that you mattered to me. And I won’t deny how I feel about you.”
She smiled half-heartedly. “Well, that’s kind, but you’re off the hook was my point. I know I’m not like… hideous. I’m just not fit for consumption for at least another eighteen months, no matter how mercilessly horny I get. This whole thing is a mindfuck. And even thinking about it… yuck. Like, the will is there—even now—but I shouldn’t. It’s self-destructive.”
“It’s not,” I said. “You’re human. You may be gestating one, but you’re still human, Chloe.”
“You really don’t find me repulsive?”
My face flushed red again, giving me away.
“You would honestly fuck me, Cole Hayward? Like this? Even though under all of this, you'd be able to tell—”
“Yes, Chloe. And… it’s not a turnoff.”
Her eyes widened. “You think it’s… hot?”
“Don’t make a big deal about it,” I groaned, turning.
She giggled. “You are so cute when you get all bashful. I’m not shaming your kink, okay? But if you wanted to exploit it… I’d be down.”
“Then drive,” I worried my own morality might get the better of me before we arrived at my hotel.
“Plug in the address and let’s go,” Chloe buckled her seatbelt.
The gauntlet was once more thrown. I still didn’t know what it was about her that made me do such stupid and depraved things. I could drag it out, but deep down I knew it was a temporary balm before she once again failed to text me more than a short response about Mack’s progress. Foolishly, I thought somehow if I blew her mind and comforted her, she’d realize this was more than just fucking.
33. NEVERS AND MAYBES
CHLOE
In Cole’s spartan hotel room, we kissed and kicked off our clothes. Boots flew. Hands roved. My breath quickened and heart raced as I gave over to the beautiful distraction of this cowboy. I told myself this was fine—it was just sex. This was what he wanted. Hell, it was probably the last opportunity I’d have to do this for at least another two years!
Cole tossed his shirt, standing only in his boxers now. He was still as hot as I remembered. He tugged on mine.
