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He takes it and looks at the blood, then sets it back on his bench as he turns around.
I glance at Luca. His face is scrunched up, and it’s awfully satisfying. His shoulder is bleeding, but luckily for me it isn’t fatal—at least not yet, because I’m not done with him. I circle him, placing a hand on his shoulder and digging my finger into the wound.
“Fuck you,” he seethes.
“I wouldn’t advise that. My boyfriend would kill you, and he would make it a lot more painful. The bone breaking would be satisfying for me, though.” I rip my finger from the hole and more blood flows out. I may need to stitch that one. “She never mentioned you to me. I know about her other ex-boyfriend—she talked about him, but I guess you didn’t leave that big of an impact. But by all means, keep talking. I find it very motivating.”
He says nothing, just breathes through the pain. I can tell because I have been hurt so many times, and all you can do is breathe through it when it’s bad.
“Cipher.”
“Isopropyl is . . .”
“I still have some. I wanted to see if you had some gauze or something because this one is deeper and I don’t want him to die just yet. Wrong tool and all.”
“Second drawer.”
“You are a very practical person. I like that about you,” I tell him with a grin.
I get the gauze and come back, pressing it to his shoulder. Luca makes another noise and thrashes a little. “Stop it, I’m trying to help you,” I tell him, and slap him on the back of the head.
I’m a little manic. I don’t usually feel this mid-episode, but I can this time, stuck somewhere in between. This is a first for me. My hands move faster than I can keep up with, and my brain is racing, but it’s worse when I feel detached from myself. Everything is getting louder, and Cipher’s radio keeps distracting me. Maybe I should eat.
“Do you have any nuggets?” I ask Cipher.
He turns around and looks at me as if he can’t decide if I am being serious. “I don’t, but I can go get food for everyone.”
I ponder this for a second. “Can you get nuggets, though?”
He nods slowly.
“Oh, and something with sugar in it,” I add.
“Sure.”
“And maybe . . .” I stop because Luca makes a sound. “Hold on, he’s trying to say something.”
But when he says nothing more, I shrug. “Okay, yes. Food, please. I think we need to eat. My brain feels like it has been running a marathon, and I read somewhere that if you are running a marathon, you need to fuel your body. Maybe Brawley told me that—he’s good at looking after himself. Did you know he . . .” I trail off again, losing my train of thought. “Nuggets, please.”
Cipher nods and picks up his jacket from the back of his chair and pulls it on. Little trinkets are attached, making small tinkling sounds, but I can’t make out what they are—maybe miniature tools. He looks at Cave on his way out, and I know that look, but Cipher leaves before I can question him.
“Do you have a thing for him?” I ask Cave, but of course he says nothing. “You do. I like him.”
Cave growls, and a shiver runs down my spine. I remember again that I’m scared of him. “Calm down, big guy. I don’t like him like that—he is all yours. Brawley wouldn’t like it if I brought home a guy anyway.”
I sit down across from Luca, and he watches me carefully as I pick up another piece of paper. “Now, where were we?”
Chapter Five
Kayla
Three days Vero has been missing.
I have replayed the footage over and over, hoping to find something that we missed, but it’s always the same. He slips out of the camera’s view, clearly knowing exactly what he’s doing.
Waking up in Brawley’s arms is hard when Vero isn’t here with us; it almost feels like I am doing something wrong, even though I know Vero would be happy. The room is way too quiet without the big ball of energy that is Vero.
Brawley is awake. His breathing changed a few minutes ago, but I don’t say anything. I just lie there and let him think in the silence, knowing how hard this must be on him as well. Harder than it is for any of us.
