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The anger inside me wants to spill over, like it does every time Rowan and I have an argument. I sit here and wish the Jester had killed him. I could have dealt with that. He isn’t one of my men, so I would have mourned and moved on.
“You keep saying that like it excuses everything you have done to me.”
I wish I had a plan, but I have just been driving, trying to think over my options. If I take him to the house, the cycle keeps going and I will never be rid of him. When I walked into the Jester’s house, all I could think about was getting Rowan out; I couldn’t have him locked away like an animal. Yet now all I can think is that maybe he should have stayed there. But I knew I had to get him away from Cave, because them being around each other would have made everything worse.
There is no way in the world I am leaving my men; I simply need some space to figure out my next move, and long enough to stop being so angry that they lied. Realization hits me—I should have told them I was coming back, but I just got mad and left. Guilt washes over me.
The way Cave looked at me when he stepped aside replays in my mind. I should have said something, or found Cipher or Noa. But I was so angry and confused that I needed to leave.
“What are we doing?” Rowan finally asks, and it’s a good question.
“I don’t know yet.”
“I need somewhere to stay and to keep a low profile for a while. Steedy might be dead, and some of his men, but those left will know I was involved.”
A headache forms behind my eyes. “There are motels near the bus station.”
He laughs. “With what money?”
I glance across at him. “You don’t have any?”
He looks at me as if it’s the stupidest thing I have ever asked him. “I have been locked in a basement.”
“You didn’t have any money before that?”
His mouth presses into a hard line, and he shakes his head. “Steedy took everything. I owed him.”
Now it’s my turn to shake my head because of course he has no money—he never did. Any he got his hands on was gone before the day ended, lost to gambling, drugs, anything he could get his hands on. Things never change with him, but they have with me. Without him in my life, I don’t look over my shoulder, and I no longer hide money.
“You always owe someone money,” I scoff.
“I didn’t ask for a lecture,” he snaps.
“No, you usually ask for money.”
He narrows his eyes at me, but he can’t deny it. The only times I have seen him in the last few years were when he needed money or a place to stay.
“You would have plenty now.”
Yeah, well, he isn’t wrong. Both Leni and I are doing amazing, and it’s funny the only thing that has changed is Rowan no longer sucking us dry, physically and mentally. I now have a balance in my bank that isn’t in the negatives.
My foot eases off the accelerator, and the car slows before I even realize what I’m doing.
“What are you implying?” I ask him.
“Come on, Valli, that place must make a fortune. The ticket sales and the freaks running around. Your boyfriends must be loaded.”
Cold dread washes over me. My brother has been free for less than an hour, and he is already counting money that doesn’t belong to him.
“They’re not giving you anything,” I say through clenched teeth.
“I didn’t say they had to.”
“You were going to. I know you, Rowan.”
“It wouldn’t kill you to help me get back on my feet.”
A car passes us and honks its horn. I shouldn’t have stopped where I did, but the audacity of this man has stunned me. “I have been helping you for years. You’re a grown man and it’s time to stand on your own two feet.”