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Fuck.
Her hand moves across her stomach. "And I wish I knew if you'd want to know about her."
My eyes burn. I blink hard.
On the screen, Lainey looks down. "She kicked for the first time while I was lying in bed three months ago." Her lips tremble into a smile. "I cried for an hour."
My throat tightens.
"And then I thought about you." She wipes beneath one eye. "I don't know why."
"Yes, you do," I whisper.
Current Lainey's hand finds mine beneath the blanket. I lace our fingers.
The video keeps playing. "I think maybe I want you here."
My chest fucking caves in.
She laughs through tears. "Which makes no sense because I barely know you. And you're engaged… Maybe married by now."
Her voice drops. "But sometimes I talk to you anyway."
I stop breathing.
"When I'm scared, mostly."
Fuck me.
"I tell you things. Not out loud because then Mama would think I've lost my mind. But in my head." She rests both hands over her stomach. "I tell you she's healthy."
My eyes blur.
"That I'm healthy."
A pause.
"That she likes kicking me at two in the morning."
The corner of my mouth twitches.
"And that I'm terrified."
I squeeze current Lainey's hand.
She squeezes back.
Video Lainey looks straight into the camera. "I wish you'd been easier to find, Jagger. I wish I had the courage to demand Carla tells me who you are." She rubs her belly with big tears coming down her cheeks. "I wish our baby could know her daddy."
A tear slips down my cheek before I can stop it. I wipe it away.
Pregnant Lainey suddenly smiles. "Wait."
The phone shifts. The camera points toward her belly. "Do it again."
I move the phone closer. Nothing happens. Then the side of her stomach moves.
My breath catches. "Holy shit."