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“OK, well, she refused to take off her clothes in case I became overwhelmed with lust. And then she decided that my hands were too soft and lame so I had to use Rhodie’s hands.” I finish and they all sit there, staring at me in silence.
“Wait, huh?”
“Rhodie put his hands on her and then I kinda moved them around on Chewy.” I shrug. I’m still not really sure what happened, either.
Mira snorts, a pen and pad in her hand as she scribbles something down.
“She’s a romance author,” Joy whispers. “She writes all those alien romances I’ve been sharing with you.”
My brows hit my hairline, “No shit!?”
“No shit.” Joy beams at me and I stare at her. Still amazed by her transformation into the woman before me.
“OK, wait, so you massaged her and then she made you bring her home? Classic Chewy behavior,” Kaia says and all the women nod along.
“Yeah, she decided I’d ‘had a morning’ and I should pack it in and go home. I probably need to call the cleaners to clean out my therapy room, come to think of it,” I say, already pulling my phone from my skirt pocket.
“What happened this morning?”
I wave a hand in the air, eyes glued to my screen as I scroll to my cleaners number. “Ex husband turned up at Wild Remedy, tried to get handsy and I threw hot oil at his face. Then Rhodie and Gus dragged him out and I gave Chewy a pregnancy massage.”
I look up when there’s no witty banter. The woman all stare at me in silence, and Lovely looks positively sick.
“Um, what the actual hell?” Violet says, moving from shock to pissed in seconds.
“Ah, yeah, my ex-husband is in town. Instead of prison, where he’s meant to be,” I reply, fiddling with my phone.
“And, he just turned up?” Joy asks, her pitch rising.
“Yeah but I had it handled. He’s nursing a facial burn and that doesn't include the roughing up Rhodie and Gus gave him.” My gaze travels around the group, “It’s fine. I’ve spoken to the Sheriff -”
“Moss,” Jazz and Vi answer in unison.
“Ah yeah, Moss, and he’s got a BOLO out. It’s fine. He’s an asshole and old Willa would just take it. New Willa was ready to slice and dice the son of a bitch.”
The women all relax a little, and give me encouraging words and tips on the best places to stab someone. I don’t really need the advice, but I do appreciate their concern.
“Well, now we know Willa is OK, and it’s not even 2pm, should we all get to work decorating the diner for the baby shower?” Mira says, ever-present smile back on her face.
“OK, I’ll get out of your hair so you can get on with things.” I move to stand, running my hands down my ass and straightening my skirt.
“Ah, where do you think you’re going? You’re on the balloon arch and alcoholic tea,” Nat points out.
“Ah, come again?” I freeze in my tracks.
“You’re on the list, see? And the jobs you’ve been assigned,” Mira says, leaning over to show me her notepad.
Right there, in flowery print, is Willa - Balloon arch and boozy teas. Yippee!
“Why am I on the list?” I ask, brows pinched.
“Aw, Willy Wonka, you’re one of us now,” Joy beams.
Well. Shit.
Chapter 7
Mad Dog
