Page 13

His expression makes me lean across the seat and kiss him. He cups my head as I take my time, and wanting him feels like finally speaking after so long in silence.

Inside, my ridiculous pencil horse hangs beside the kitchen doorway. I gave it eyebrows years ago because Silas complained the first version looked too noble.

“You kept him.” I touch the frame, suddenly unable to joke.

“Bad-tempered animal.” Silas hangs our coats together. “We get along.”

I look from the drawing to his face. He should have told me how he felt three years ago. Keeping the drawing doesn’t erase that hurt, but it tells me he missed me in ways I never saw.

While he lights the fire, I struggle with a bootlace. He kneels and loosens it, his fingers brushing my ankle by accident. The innocent warmth makes me shiver. When he looks up, I touch his hair. He closes his eyes briefly, and the unguarded response makes my chest ache.

We settle on the rug. I turn toward him. “I don’t want to punish who we are now for what happened back then.” I look him in the eye. “I believe you. I believe what you’ve shown me.”

“I won’t always get things right.” He covers my hand. “I will talk to you, even when I’m scared of the answer.”

“That’s what I want.” I move onto my knees. “I love you, Silas. I tried very hard not to.”

He cups my face. His expression changes, and tears rise before he speaks. “I love you.” His voice roughens. “I should have said it years ago. But I’ll keep saying it as long as you want to hear me.”

“A very long time.” I kiss him with everything I’ve held in for the last three years.

He draws me close, and I settle against him, my hands on his shoulders. Beneath my fingers, his breathing changes. I kiss his cheek and the corner of his mouth, discovering how gently somebody this strong can hold me. When I pause, he rests his forehead against mine. Neither of us has to pretend to feel confident.

“Come to bed with me?” He strokes my face, waiting for my eyes to meet his.

“Yes.” I take his hand when he stands. “I want that.”

At the bedroom door, Silas pauses with his hand on the frame. “I have protection. We can stop whenever you want.”

I squeeze his hand and lead him to the bed. “I’m afraid I’ll be awkward.” Saying it aloud is a relief—he has never asked me to pretend with him.

“So am I.” He touches his forehead to mine. “We don’t have to pretend.”

Beside the bed, he frees the ribbon caught in my braid. His knuckles graze my neck, and he pauses when I shiver. “I want you, Silas.” I unbutton his shirt and push it over his shoulders, letting my eyes roam over his naked chest for the first time.

“My turn.” Silas slips my dress over my head, leaving me standing in front of him in only my bra and panties. “You’re so beautiful, Anissa.” He kisses a path between the valley of my breasts as his fingers find the hooks on the back of my bra, making quick work of removing it before sliding my panties down my legs.

He gently lays me on the bed before stripping out of the rest of his clothes. My eyes widen when I see his hard cock spring free. “I don’t think that is going to fit.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll take our time.” He lowers his head, kissing me before settling between my legs. “Are you ready for me?” He slides a finger through my wetness. “You are soaked.” He growls before lining his cock up at my entrance. “Let me know if anything hurts.” I nod, unable to speak. “Words, Anissa. I need to hear you say the words so I know there is no misunderstanding between us.”

“I’ll tell you if you’re hurting me.” I moan, pushing my hips up to meet his.

It’s all the encouragement he needs as he pushes his hips forward, sinking deep inside of me. “Fuck, Anissa. You feel so good.” He pulls back slowly, making my toes curl at the sensation. “I’m not sure how long I’m going to last.” He pushes forward, sinking back into me.

“Don’t hold back, Silas. Not tonight—not ever. We’ve waited too long for this moment—don’t wait a minute longer.” I curl my fingers into his hair and lift my hips again, silently giving him the permission he needs to go faster.

He speeds up, pushing deeper and faster, tearing moan after moan out of me. “That’s it, Anissa, come for me—come for your man.” He growls as my body explodes around him. Seconds later, he explodes inside of me, filling me with his hot seed. “So good.” He groans into my hair as our bodies tremble together.

After the last tremor stops, he rolls onto his back, taking me with him. “I love you, Silas.” I lay my head against his chest.

“I love you, too, Anissa.” He pulls me close against his side as we both drift off to sleep.

fourteen

Silas

Iwake before sunrise with Anissa curled against me. Her hand rests on my chest. I brush hair away from her mouth and think about all the mornings I missed with her.