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I kick off my shoes. “You eat?”
“Yeah. Left you some pasta.”
“Thanks.”
“It’s in the fridge.”
I stand there one second too long.
She looks back at her tablet.
I go to the kitchen, open the fridge, and find the pasta in a container with my name written on it like we’re coworkers. I eat it cold while standing at the counter.
Can’t blame her for being quiet. I’ve been a lot. Before the pool party ambush, but especially in the weeks after. Even I’m not happy with my level of focus on things I’m not entirely in control of.
My phone sits beside the sink. No new message. Not from Kev, not from…
I rinse the fork, put the container away with two bites still in it, and go shower.
The water runs hot. I scrub my hands twice and still have dough under my nails. The pizza oven leaves a film on me some nights, like heat gets inside my skin and keeps cooking whatever mood I brought with me.
No direct meeting for now. All communication through counsel.
The spare room waits at the end of the short hall. Laptop, ring light, futon. The little kingdom of HotnReddy, where everything is transactional and somehow less insane than my legit life right now.
I sit down and open the laptop. Site loads.
HotnReddy—me, but easier to sell.
I check the viewer notes from last show, payout numbers, unread messages. BigDog469 has sent three since last night. Drunk texts, I suspect. One is just an eggplant emoji followed by a question mark, which feels like a complete summary of his emotional range.
Bentley84 has sent one.
Good luck with the pizza crowd tonight.
I stare at it, then laugh.
I type back.
Was a war of olives.
Then I delete it. Type again.
Olives won the night.
I send it before I rethink again.
The reply comes while I’m still setting up the light.
I knew they had fight in them.
My chest does something small and warm.
I should let him pay to talk like everyone else.
Private chat costs tokens because access costs tokens. That’s how this works. They want my attention, they pay for it. They want more attention, they pay more.
Bentley has always paid. Not huge, show-off tokens, but enough to show that he understands the rules.