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Bentley84: Bummer. Everything else okay?

I don’t answer right away. The mood in the room is shifting.

BigDog469: show us you can take it

I look at the plug on the desk.

Bentley84 is typing in the private window. The three dots appear, vanish, then appear again.

My skin tightens.

Bentley84: You don’t have to do that, you know. It’s okay to say no.

I sit still.

The open chat scrolls.

show it

plug plug plug

lets see pink

I stare at Bentley’s message.

“Maybe later, guys.”

I hesitate, then send Bentley a wink emoji.

He replies with a heart.

Chapter nine

On the Edge

Paul

The heart sits there—small, red, and ridiculous. I stare at it as if it might become less damning if I look long enough.

The room around me is dark except for the laptop glow and the low amber light I keep on near the theater room door so we—the dogs and me—don’t trip over our own feet. Baxter is asleep beside me, his body pressed against my thigh with proprietary insistence. Barret has taken the floor, dramatic as always, stretched across the rug like he’s waiting for his photoshoot.

On-screen, the public chat keeps moving.

show it

plug plug plug

come on man

dont tease

Clint is naked in the chair, one knee bent, the light catching the hard planes of his chest and stomach. His hand rests near the edge of the desk, close to the lube and the black toy the room keeps demanding.

I should not have sent a heart. A tip would have been a safe, neutral message. Sending nothing would have been best.

I lean back into the couch cushions and press two fingers against the bridge of my nose.

“Idiot,” I say softly.