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“I’m not doing anything.”
“Don’t look at me with wet eyes and say no like I should just believe you.”
“You should.”
“If I’m stupid.”
He flinches.
I step closer to the pool. “Did you tell your lawyer to back off because you felt bad? Because of Bentley? Because of this?” I gesture between us, which is a terrible idea because there is a lot of us on display. “Because I am not taking your guilt house.”
“It isn’t guilt.”
“Then what is it?”
He lets go of the edge and stands in the shallow end, water running down his chest.
“It’s yours.”
The words hit harder than they should.
I hate them. I want them. I don’t fucking trust them.
Paul keeps his voice steady. “The situation changed. Renny didn’t just know of you, he actually knew you. He reached out. Visited. Once I knew that, I couldn’t keep fighting you.”
“So you suddenly found your conscience?”
The pool moves softly around his hips.
“I finally stopped confusing my grief with ownership. I had Renny—and all that came with him—for a lifetime, but you owned part of him too. You deserve part of what’s left, and you got it.” He looks down at the water, makes little waves with his hands. “If it makes you feel better, I’m not sure that I’m happy about it.”
For a second, neither of us moves.
I finally stopped confusing my grief with ownership.
I want to hate that, too. I want it to sound like another rich-man line. Something polished and generous and designed to make me grateful. But Paul looks wrecked.
I crouch at the edge. “You really expect me to believe this isn’t you buying your way out? Or in?”
“No.”
“Good.”
“I don’t want out, Clint.”
His mouth trembles once, then steadies.
“I don’t know what I am to you right now,” he says. “I don’t know what I’m allowed to be. But I know the house was never only mine. Maybe legally it was, for a minute. Maybe emotionally I needed it to be. But Renny made you part of this, and I can’t erase you—and I don’t want to.”
My throat tightens.
Fuck him for saying it right.
Paul watches me.
“I guess now you have to ask,” I say.
His brow furrows, then he understands. The smallest, strangest smile moves across his face and disappears.
