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And so I set the note on the kitchen counter and walked out his door for the last time.

I wondered how long it would take him to realize I was gone. If he didn’t notice the note, it could take weeks that was how dedicated he’d been to avoiding me by that point.

I got a job at a café near campus. I started working full-time.

I was only a few weeks into the job when I was late for a shift because of morning sickness. The manager wasn’t pleased, but it took two more offenses before she fired me.

I found a twenty-four hour diner and requested the night shift. I wasn’t as sick at night, or so I thought.

That turned into me being sick at work, which was worse than being late.

I started to expect it, to prepare for it, and I managed to hold onto that job longer.

I was starting to show before Maddie caught on.

“Is that Coach North’s baby?” she finally asked me one day, her eyes wide.

Maddie had been a cheerleader back in school, and I’d forgotten that was how she thought of him.

Recalling that was a sore spot, reminding me of the fact he couldn’t be a coach now, either. I’d robbed him of so many things.

“Yes,” I answered.

“Does he know?” she asked

“No.”

“You have to tell him. He would help you, don’t you think? He’d step up.”

“He’s already helped me enough. Besides that, I know he doesn’t want any kids yet. He’s said he doesn’t want to settle down for a long time. If I told him, it would be trapping him. Even though he doesn’t want me or a baby, he’s too decent not to take care of his own kid.”

“Well, maybe for the baby’s sake, that’s how it needs to be.”

“I won’t keep it from him forever, but there’s no reason to tell him now. After the baby’s born, maybe I’ll do it.”

“Maybe?”

“I know what it’s like to be unwanted. Trust me when I say having just one parent is better than that. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” I said, changing the subject. “You had a right to know before we moved in together. I’d understand if you want me to find another place to stay. Having a baby around will be a lot different than what you were expecting when we did this.”

“Stop that. Of course you don’t need to find another place. I’m busy most of the time with school and work right now, but when I’m not, I do love babies. How far along are you?”

“Almost five months.” I hadn’t gotten very big yet, and I blamed that on being constantly sick.

“Wow. Your belly’s still so small. Is it a boy or a girl?”

I shrugged. “I’ll know at my five month appointment.”

“Do you have any gut feeling? My mom always said she knew if she was having a boy or a girl instinctively.”

I thought about it. “I don’t have a preference, I just want them to be healthy, but when I dream about the baby, it’s always a boy.”

“So you’re keeping up with all your checkups?” she asked.

She was my age exactly, but she sounded suddenly like a mother hen. I loved it, loved any sign that another human cared about me.

“Yes, it took a while, but I finally got my health insurance figured out and I’ve made every appointment since then.”

“At least you’re being responsible.”