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“I’m just going to go with Michelle.”
“The awful girl that started those rumors about you?”
“It’s fine. I don’t blame her. I really don’t think she meant for it to be that nasty of a rumor. Sometimes the things people say get away from them.”
I felt my hackles rising. The urge to protect her was nearly overwhelming for me, but how could I protect her from her own friends? It was beyond frustrating. “You’re an angel for being so benevolent about it,” I told her gently, “but you shouldn’t put up with someone treating you like that. You deserve better.”
She just looked down and shrugged like she didn’t agree. “That’s just how girls my age are. It’s really not that big of a deal.”
“Would you have done that to her?” I asked pointedly.
That got her, and her face scrunched up like I’d landed a blow. “Of course not,” she said quietly.
She was still naked, still straddling me, and I squeezed her closer, kneading her shoulders and kissing the top of her head. I wanted to comfort her, but also I couldn’t keep my hands off her. It was a problem.
“Listen, I just want to go to the prom,” she said. “I want the dress and the pictures and stuff.”
“Okay, baby girl,” I said, hugging her close. “Did you not go last year?”
“No. I couldn’t afford a dress.”
That shut me up for a minute. Of course she’d get her way. I’d buy her all the dresses she wanted, that was a given.
“Just be careful,” I murmured to her. “I don’t trust that girl.”
She was nuzzling into my chest, and it was starting to distract me. “I don’t trust anyone,” she remarked casually. “Will you be there? At the prom?”
“Yes,” I said, but something she’d said had gotten to me. “You don’t trust anyone? You don’t trust me?”
She looked up and there were tears in her eyes. “I do, but you’re the only one, so what will I do if you turn on me, too?”
It broke my heart a bit. I hugged her close, squeezing her breathless. “I would never do that. I’m not capable of it.”
“Nothing lasts forever.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. Clearly I wasn’t in a position to make her any promises even if I wanted to. I was already taking advantage of her, and it would be too selfish to tie her down like that at this point of her life. She was just too young.
“I wish we could go together,” she said quietly, changing the subject and letting me off the hook like the angel she was. “To prom, I mean.”
I tilted her chin up until she looked into my eyes. “I wish that too,” I said sincerely and kissed her.
It drove me a little crazy, but over the next week she was gone a lot more, on the hunt for the perfect prom dress even on school nights. I missed her, but she still had a lot of schoolwork to do, and it was infuriating that she was just getting farther behind.
I wondered if I could ground her until she got her grades in order but immediately dismissed the idea. She rarely listened to me even when I wasn’t being unreasonable.
“What color car do you prefer?” I asked her one day as she was leaving again to shop.
Her eyes narrowed at me. “You can’t be thinking of buying me a car,” she stated in disbelief.
I shrugged, smiling blandly. “I’m just curious. Can’t I be curious?”
“It was just such a random question. I guess I like black cars.”
When she was gone I took the opportunity and found her a less flashy ride, one that she could keep. It was a brand new black Toyota. It was a sensible car. I figured no matter what she would have reliable transportation for at least the next decade.
She cried when I gave it to her. Just broke down. I had to hold her for a long time and reassure her, in fact insist, that she take it. That it was hers to keep.
I didn’t want her to leave, loved having her around, but my conscience dictated that I had to help her become more independent, had to open more doors for her instead of closing her in with me for my own enjoyment, my own contentment.