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Maddie sized me up with a smile. “That’s quite the hot getup. Who are you trying to hook tonight? I bet whoever it is, he’ll bite.”

I didn’t have to answer because Michelle butted in with, “What about me? Don’t you think my outfit’s hot?”

Everyone had to reassure her that it was, effectively taking the attention away from me.

I made a note to keep her close to me at the party. She was a very good distraction. She made it easy for me to keep the focus off of myself.

The instant we walked into the house party, it felt like a mistake. It was crowded and loud, and I just wanted to know what Carter was doing with his ex right then.

Were they home yet? How long had she hugged him when he picked her up? Was he still attracted to her? I didn’t wonder if she was still attracted to him. He wasn’t the kind of guy you got over.

Did she want him back? Who wouldn’t?

Maybe the party wasn’t such a terrible idea, I thought, and set about distracting myself.

I just wanted to hang out with my girlfriends, but it was a party and soon some football players were surrounding us, handing us drinks.

I wasn’t surprised to find Jake’s arm slung over my shoulder.

He grinned at me, leaning in close. He was drunk. The times I’d gone out with him I’d noticed he liked to drink too much and didn’t control himself very well when he did.

“You look hot,” he yelled into my ear. He reeked of beer and weed.

I leaned away. “I miss you,” he added. He was so loud everyone was staring at us.

I shut my eyes, embarrassed.

“Let’s go upstairs,” he continued.

I took a firm step away, giving him a dirty look. As if. We hadn’t dated for over a year, had obviously never had sex, and he thought I’d just walk upstairs with him? It was ridiculous and insulting.

“No, thank you,” I told him stiffly.

The way it came out was a bit colder and ruder than I’d intended, and everyone laughed. I smiled, trying to play it off, but Jake had the opposite reaction.

“Maybe if you weren’t such a stuck-up bitch, you wouldn’t be living in a homeless shelter,” he said, his voice carrying.

The crowd laughed loudest of all at that.

I kept smiling and excused myself.

The bathroom had a line outside of it and I waited there, eyes pointed straight ahead, wishing I could be alone for just five minutes.

Michelle hugged me from behind, speaking into my ear. “Are you okay? Jake is just upset ‘cause you dumped him last year and he’s, like, totally still hung up on you, ya know?”

“I know,” I said tonelessly. “I’m fine. I just need to use the restroom.”

She came around to study me, seemed satisfied, and changed the subject as though nothing had happened.

She tapped my full cup of beer. “Drink up. It’s a party.”

I pretended to take a drink but intended to dump it as soon as I could without being noticed. No way was I drinking in a place like this. I didn’t trust anybody here.

I didn’t trust anybody anywhere.

Well, maybe one person, but I didn’t want to think about him for even a second just then.

I didn’t drink, but I did dance with my friends for a few hours. I turned down a few drunken offers, too.