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NEITHER LIWEI NOR I spoke as we flew toward the Eastern Sea. It struck me that this was the first time we were alone since our flight from the Jade Palace—just days earlier, yet it felt like decades. I was no longer the girl who had entered the Courtyard of Eternal Tranquility; I was not even the same one who had helped him escape. Some years swept by, leaving little mark on our lives, while a single moment sufficed to upend them.
Death had ravaged an intrinsic part of me. With this constant weight bearing down, happiness seemed an elusive prospect. Liwei stood a palm’s width away, though it might as well have been ten, with a wall between us. Strands of his long black hair fell across his face as he stared into the sky.
“Do your wounds still hurt?” he asked.
“No.” The discomfort was a welcome distraction to my other pains, those unseen.
He leaned forward, taking my hand. The warmth of his energy surged into my body, healing the last of my injuries and replenishing the well of my power that had sunk dangerously low. I breathed easier as the strength returned to my limbs.
“What happened in the grove?” he asked, drawing away. “Lady Xihe and her phoenix are powerful. How did you withstand their attacks?”
“Wenzhi helped. He shielded me.”
His face shuttered. “You are right that this is not the time for such matters, but I must say this—if you are confused, that is his doing. He is a master of manipulation.”
“No,” I said slowly. “My feelings are my own.”
His dark eyes held mine, unfathomable, when once I had read them so clearly. “Did you want to kiss him?”
I looked away then. “I wish I had not.” Not a full answer, and not what he wanted to hear.
“What you feel now … I believe it will pass. Do not let him cloud your feelings.”
The intensity in Liwei’s tone startled me. As I searched his face, I found new lines across his brow, the corners of his mouth. These days had taken their toll on him too. “Liwei, are you well? You must be worried for your parents.”
“Mother hides her worries, though she is afraid. As for Father—” His voice trailed off. “I must return to the Jade Palace. I must help him—”
“You would just be walking into a trap. Few things are more precious to usurpers of thrones than displaced heirs,” I said bluntly.
“He will kill my father.”
“No, Wugang is prudent. He will keep your father alive until his own position is secure. He is vulnerable as long as he doesn’t have you.” I added solemnly, “If Wugang wanted to kill your father, he would already be dead.” The unvarnished truth sometimes offered the greatest comfort.
How strange that a few weeks ago, it had been the Celestial Emperor who struck terror into me, whom I loathed. Yet compared to the senseless cruelty of Wugang, the Celestial Emperor was the preferred choice for the realm … although I could not help thinking Liwei would make a far better ruler.
“Will Queen Fengjin stand with your family?” I asked.
“With the situation so uncertain, the Phoenix Queen is hesitant to move against Wugang. It is no longer a question of defending our position but of wresting it back—a far harder exercise, requiring far greater conviction.”
A bond stronger than an alliance.
“You should marry Princess Fengmei.” These words almost choked me, but the princess could give him more than I ever could: A kingdom, a crown, a future. While all Liwei had ever asked me for was my heart, and I could not even yield that.
“Do you want me to, Xingyin?” A note of sadness threaded his tone.
I stifled my instinctive protest, forcing myself to say, “You must do what is best for you and your family.”
He clasped my hand tightly, and for a moment I was lost in the remembered warmth of his touch. “You have always fought against what life threw at you, whether you had a hope of winning or not. You dreamed of the impossible, making your own way when there was none. Don’t give up on us now.”
“I’m not who you think I am.” My voice was low. “I have made so many mistakes. I have hurt those I cared for, failed those I would have given anything to save.” These confessions were torn from the deepest part of me.
“No, Xingyin—for you have been tested more than most. Those forged through fire form the strongest blades.” He smiled at me, an echo of the companion of my past, then his expression turned somber once more. “I will not give up as long as you don’t, and I will stay by your side for as long as you let me.”
My emotions wound tighter, on the brink of snapping. I craved his strength, his comfort and kindness—all of which I had fallen in love with, that I loved still. “I don’t know what I want. And right now, it does not matter.”
“Just tell me, am I in your heart?”
“Yes.” I did not hesitate, for it was the truth.
