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He scowled, his mouth opening to rebuke me—but Liwei interjected, “May I speak with Xingyin, alone?”

The general threw a forbidding look my way, before bowing to Liwei and leaving the room.

“Would you like to sit?” Liwei asked, after a moment’s silence.

“I prefer to stand.” I was eager to leave at the first opportunity, determined to avoid any further intimacy with him.

He sighed as he rose to join me. Part of me cringed from the absurdity of our situation. Only yesterday he had pulled me into his arms with such passion, and now he was asking me to rescue his betrothed. Anger flared in me, hot and fierce.

“Do you care so little for my feelings?” I could not help asking, hating myself for it, too.

“I must do this,” he said. “If we fail, if any harm befalls Princess Fengmei—not only would it be a great tragedy, but it would tilt the Phoenix Kingdom toward the Demon Realm, strengthening them and weakening us, immensely. With this advantage the Demon Realm would be tempted to break the peace, to go to war with us again.”

“I understand. But why do I need to go with you? There are countless competent warriors you could choose from, who would be honored to accompany you.”

“Because there’s no one I trust more than you.” His eyes held mine. “Too many things have been happening of late. Fox spirits coming through our wards. Archer Feimao’s affliction. And now, this. The princess was taken on her way to the Celestial Kingdom. Only those in the inner circles of our courts knew of this trip. Which means there is a traitor either in the Phoenix Kingdom or here,” he concluded gravely. “I meant what I said about your skill. This will be dangerous, and we’ll need every advantage we can gather.”

When I did not reply, he added in a low voice, “I’m placing you in an impossible situation. You must hate me.”

My head pounded beneath the weight of my indecision. To be tasked with saving Liwei’s betrothed both unsettled and hurt me. I wanted her to be rescued, but I also wanted no part of it. And a small voice inside me whispered that if the Celestial Kingdom should fall, perhaps my mother would be free . . .

I flinched from the vile thought. I had friends here whom I cared for, who would suffer if it came to war. And what if the Demon Realm ascended to supremacy? While I no longer believed them to be the monsters I had dreaded—neither did I trust their king who seemed as ruthless as the Celestial Emperor, particularly if he had kidnapped Princess Fengmei to force the queen’s capitulation. Dare I lay our fates in such hands? If I had learned anything over these years, it was that no one won in a war, not even those who thought they did.

Princess Fengmei’s face flashed through my mind now—not the royal wearing the golden cloak of feathers I had seen from afar, but the girl I had met in Liwei’s courtyard. Could I not treat this as any other task I had accepted before? If not for our past, I would have leapt at this chance to aid the Celestial Crown Prince and the Phoenix Princess. It was a rare opportunity, one which would undoubtedly gain the emperor’s attention—possibly bringing me within reach of the Crimson Lion Talisman and averting a disastrous war. And beyond that, could I truly refuse to help Liwei? No matter what, he was still my friend.

A hundred considerations twisted and wound through me, now all tugging me in the same direction. I would go with Liwei. Not from duty or obligation, but to protect him—my friend—and those I cared for in the Celestial Kingdom. To help save the innocent girl I had spoken with. And if this did not win His Celestial Majesty’s favor and the talisman I craved—nothing ever would. This would be my final step along this path before I began anew, and I would leave with a cleared conscience.

I met his gaze. “I’ll go with you.”

“Thank you.”

As he took a step toward me, I moved away. “I’ll go with you,” I repeated. “However, I ask that you conduct yourself within the bounds of propriety from now . . . as though our past does not exist.” These cold words stung me, too, but I could not allow another moment of weakness to muddle my resolve.

“What if you’re improper toward me?” A shadow of a smile formed on his lips.

How easily he slipped back into being my teasing friend of the past. But I could not allow even that. “We cannot continue this way,” I said in a low voice, trying to stifle the lingering desire which slid into me at his nearness, the guilt and shame that burned a hole in my stomach. “I will help you and Princess Fengmei. But you have your honor and I have mine. And there is none to be found in what we did. You are betrothed now—your heart is hers.” The memory of our kiss flitted through me, unbidden. Our last—I told myself fiercely—a door closed, a final farewell.

His face was ash and shadow, his eyes stripped of light. It was then, I knew I had done it . . . severed the last frayed thread of our bond. He was silent as he inclined his head to me, before walking away. I did not look up, not wanting to see him leave. My words had struck true—a fatal blow, a swift death. Yet it was a hollow triumph, leaving a bitterness in my mouth and a clawing ache in my chest.

Sleep evaded me that night. Plagued by restlessness, I clambered up the pillars outside my room. A gentle breeze stirred the air as I sat on the cold jade roof tiles, staring at the sky. The moon shone down through the darkness, its light gentle and soft.

Something rustled—Wenzhi, pulling himself over the ledge. He flicked his outer robe aside as he sank down beside me.

“I waited for you today.”

“I’m sorry. Today was . . . eventful.” I hated the way my words stumbled as though I had something to hide. Oh, you do, my mind whispered.

“I can’t go with you to the border,” I told him.

His jaw tightened, yet he showed no surprise. Had he already been briefed by General Jianyun?

“Don’t go with Prince Liwei.” He spoke with sudden urgency. “It’s too dangerous. Immortals shun the Eternal Spring Forest for good reason. Since Lady Hualing’s disappearance, rumors abound of the place—of dark enchantments and hostile creatures, of misery and death.”

I shrugged with an indifference I did not feel. “I’ve faced monsters, by your side, no less.”

His sigh misted the cool air. “Don’t you have any regard for your own safety?”

I frowned, a little surprised by his insistence. “How is this more dangerous than Xiangliu? Governor Renyu? Or the Bone Devil?” I rattled off, trying to ease his concern.