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“Janes, I am having a party in two weeks’ time, and I should like some new attire.”

“Very good, sir,” Janes said.

On the surface of things, Janes appeared calm. But his nostrils were flaring ever so slightly, and Simon understood that to mean that he was not, in fact, calm.

“I am sorry I’ve been such a disappointment, Janes.”

“My pardon, sir, you haven’t been anything of the sort.”

“I have, and you know it. My brother was fond of clothes. One might even have called him a dandy.”

“Oh, good gracious, no.” Janes cleared his throat. “I beg your pardon. I meant to say, I wouldn’t go so far as to characterize the late earl thusly. I made sure he stayed on the right side of the line between well-turned-out and dandy.”

Ah, pride of profession. Simon respected it. “You can no doubt appreciate that I am more conservative than my brothers were. Not politically, but … constitutionally, and therefore sartorially.”

“Yes.”

“I should like to … look better but … remain within my sphere.” He paused. “I am not making sense.”

“You are making perfect sense. I consider it a welcome challenge.”

“It’s not that I don’t appreciate that attire may be a mode of artistic expression,” Simon said. “You are familiar with my friend Edward Astley, the Earl of Stonely.”

“Indeed.”

Simon wasn’t sure if that indeed had contained within it a hint of scandal or a hint of admiration. It had contained a hint of something. He pressed onward.

“I have always taken his attire as an expression of his artistic temperament. But if that’s the case, what does my attire express about me?”

The valet remained silent. They both knew the answer.

“That I am a church mouse.”

“I wouldn’t say that, sir.”

“You don’t have to; I did. Mind you, I don’t want to look like Stonely.”

“No, of course not. We shall find a happy medium. A query, if I may: Is it merely the party with which you are concerned? Or would you permit a broader remaking of your lordship’s wardrobe and countenance?”

“Countenance? I thought we were talking about attire.”

“Yes, yes,” Janes soothed. “Of course we are.”

“Well, in answer to your question, while it was the party that prompted this line of thinking, I suppose the logic of it ought to extend to the rest of life, too.”

“Very good. May I make one further inquiry?”

“Certainly.”

“What has prompted this sudden interest in your outward aspect?”

“I …” He didn’t know how to answer.

“Allow me to ask the question another way. Were you perchance hoping to catch the eye of a young lady?” He coughed. “Or anyone else?”

“No, no.” Simon felt himself redden. “Well, perhaps.” He didn’t know how to explain himself. It wasn’t as if he thought a new coat and a well-tied cravat were truly going to influence things, but … He put on his Parliament voice. “There is a lady, yes, and I should like to put my best foot forward.”

“I understand,” Janes said with an attempt at solemnity, but the occasion proved too joyful for even his legendary stoicism.