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Goldie had a seizure. She had a seizure on my living room floor while my son ate his lunch a room away. She had a seizure on my floor for nearly 3 minutes. Two minutes and forty-eight seconds, according to Theo, who somehow had the wherewithal to time it as she held Goldie on her side.

The unshakable woman Theo was had been toppled by Goldie today, but Theo had been there, and I would owe her everything for that. She was there to help Goldie through it, to call 911, to keep River safe, and to call me when Goldie was being loaded into the ambulance and taken to the hospital. Oliver had driven me after watching me fumble with my keys and drop them twice as I ran out the door. I knew Fai had followed, as he jumped into the back seat of Oliver’s SUV. I vaguely understood Jackie was there, too, but none of it fully registered as it felt like it was all happening around me, not to me.

Oliver whipped the car in front of the hospital, and we went sprinting in. I wasn’t sure what happened to the car. Maybe it was parked; maybe it was towed. None of that mattered to me. What mattered was that time had lost all meaning as an hour passed while I sat in the waiting room, my leg shaking, my son wrapped in my arms, his tears having stained my shirt. He was scared—scared for his Goldie Girl, whom he had watched inexplicably fall in front of him as his Aunt Theo called 911, the number he had memorized to call if he needed help. He had drifted off to sleep, his head resting on my shoulder, but my grip hadn’t loosened. I couldn’t let him go.

“Any word?” Theo asked quietly as Fai walked back from the receptionist desk. Her hand was wrapped in Oliver’s, her cheeks tear-stained. Violet sat on Oliver’s other side, her knees pulled up to her chest, his arm thrown around her back, holding his wife and oldest child.

Fai shook his head. “They’re still running tests. Her doctor from… from when they first brought her in, the neurologist, is back with her now.”

Theo nodded in understanding and rested her head on Oliver’s shoulder. I hadn’t been able to utter a single word to her, but the words all sat on the tip of my tongue. The thanks I wanted to bestow and the tears I wanted to flow were all there, but nothing would come. Nothing found its way free while we waited.

“How’s he doing?” Oliver asked quietly.

I glanced down at River, still in my arms. He was wearing only one of his little light-up sneakers, and I wasn’t sure if the missing shoe was lost on the way here or if it had never found its way onto his foot. I didn’t have an answer for Oliver, so I shrugged slightly, just enough to get my point across without waking him.

It was another thirty minutes of time ticking by too slowly—but at the speed of light all at the same time—before a doctor finally found us. He walked toward our group in the waiting room, his face pensive as he glanced at each of us quickly, his gaze staying on me a beat longer than everyone else.

“How is she?”

“Is she awake?”

“Is she okay?”

Everyone was speaking at once. Everyone but me. I still didn’t have the words. River stirred in my arms, his eyes fluttering open as he awoke from the noise, but his head stayed on my shoulder as he hovered between dreamland and reality. I wanted to join him there, where the world felt safe in your dreams—where Goldie was healed and whole… and mine. The doctor raised his hands, urging all of us to quiet down, and everyone listened.

“Goldie is awake. From what Mrs. James described,” he motioned toward Theo, “Goldie suffered a seizure. When she was first brought in a few months back, we saw she had suffered a minor brain injury—a concussion when she was first taken, which we assume was the cause of the memory loss. It was most likely from a blow to the back or side of the head. Scans today show she is healing from this, but the initial injury did cause scar tissue to form, which triggered the seizure today.”

Everyone around me fired off questions, but I still sat silently as I digested his words.

The doctor raised his hands again, and everyone quieted down once more. “Let me finish, and then you can ask all the questions. Okay?” Everyone nodded, and River shifted in my arms so he could get a better look, but he was just as quiet as I was. “I don’t believe she will seize again, but it isn’t impossible. For the next few weeks, until I clear her, Goldie cannot drive, and she shouldn’t cook or do any strenuous activities unsupervised. I would prefer for her to remain supervised the majority of the time. I know she lives alone, but if you could—”

“She lives with me,” I interrupted, finally finding my voice. “I can keep an eye on her.”

The doctor nodded and continued. “That makes my life easier. I can look into discharging her earlier, then, knowing she isn’t alone.” He swallowed and moved his hands to his back, clasping a clipboard as he cleared his throat. “I also wanted to inform you that the seizure came with another side effect she has permitted me to share with you all today: her memory is back.”

“What?” I stammered, my heart dropping into my stomach.

The doctor nodded, his gaze moving between us all as he spoke. “When she regained consciousness, it became evident quickly that the memories she had lost were back. The workings of our minds are still a mystery in many ways. I have no way to definitively say why it came back now or if the seizure caused it. I assume so, but all I can say for certain is that she has her memories back now,” he explained. “I already informed the officers on her case. I assume they have questions for her. I also called the detective from Cherrytree Hills and let him know. He’s driving down now.”

Fai smiled wide, and Oliver breathed a sigh of relief. Jackie started firing off question after question to the doctor, but it all sounded like it was underwater to me. Goldie’s memory was back. I should have been happy, overjoyed even. But the Goldie from before… the Goldie whose heart I had broken was back. She despised me. She hated me—rightfully so. I had gotten a clean slate, a way to start over with the one woman who could bring me to my knees, whom I would fight the world for. And I had a feeling I was about to lose her to the actions of who I was four years ago.

A man so irrevocably changed that I didn’t recognize him anymore. A man changed into who I was now: a brother, a father… and a man in love with a woman who might hate him again.

I hugged River tighter.

“Daddy?” he asked softly.

“Yeah, buddy?”

“Can we go see Goldie Girl?” he muttered.

“I—” I looked around. Jackie was still asking questions, and Fai was standing, moving toward a nurse who had just arrived. I wanted to go, but I didn’t want to intrude. I didn’t know if I was allowed back… or wanted back. My eyes met Theo’s, who stared back at me, her blue eyes swimming with questions. For a beat, our eyes locked before she mouthed go. It was all I needed.

I stood, River now perched on my arm, his alligator in his grasp, and I followed Fai. He glanced back at me and didn’t object as we were led through the hospital doors and down a long hallway. I walked a step behind Fai as we were brought to a closed door. I looked at the name written on a whiteboard next to the door:

Goldie Parker

Marigold Taylor, I corrected internally. The name she was born with, the name she hid from but the very name that answered more questions that we knew we had.