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It also hadn’t gone well. My dad was in shock and barely spoke. My mom… well, my mom had words. Lots of words. Most of which explained that she had set me up for a better life than she had, and now I was in the same position she was in when she had my brother, Oliver.

Oliver was technically my half-brother. His father wasn’t and never had been in the picture, and Oliver was primarily raised by Mom until she met my dad. My dad stepped into the role of Oliver’s father immediately, and then they had me. While Oliver was my half-brother in biology, he was everything a brother should have been, just as my dad was his dad in every way necessary.

My mom had been right; I was in the same shoes she was in all those years ago. A single parent, technically on my own. Just as Oliver’s dad was never in the picture, neither was River’s mom. She had given up all parental rights. It was my dad who had made sure we were protected legally. After the initial shock had worn off for him, he had called a lawyer and got the paperwork completed. I had full legal and physical custody. River’s mom technically had the option for supervised visitation, but hadn’t taken up the offer. She paid child support every month without worry, but that was the only contact she had. I assumed that would be the only contact she would ever have with River. The money sat in a bank account under River’s name for when he grew up.

My mom had been right; I was in her shoes. She was livid I had been stupid enough to get someone pregnant after years of her warnings. All she had wanted for both me and Oliver was a better life than she had, and I had thrown that all in the trash. When I explained that I was going to move out of her home and in with Oliver… well, that had set her over the edge. Not only was I a single father, but now I was leaving her behind and taking my new son with me.

We didn’t speak for about a month; the anger simmered under the surface for both of us, and too many unkind words were thrown at each other for it to be easy to forget.

It had taken Oliver and his family being gone on a weekend trip, and me being left alone with River for the night, for me to bridge the gap in my relationship with my mom.

“Mom?” I asked when she picked up the phone. I had been alone with River for twelve hours, and I felt like I was drowning, like I was failing. I had always been a failure, coming in second best to Oliver, but I didn’t want to fail my son. He deserved the world… he deserved more than I could give him.

“Lex?” she asked, her voice laced with sleep. I checked the clock and swore under my breath. I hadn’t realized it was three in the morning.

“Mom,” I croaked, “I need your help.”

“Hey, it’s okay, honey,” she soothed. I could hear her sitting up and my dad asking who was on the phone in the distance. “What’s going on?”

I swallowed. “He won’t sleep. I think something’s wrong. He’s not hungry, I just changed him. I don’t know what else he would need. I-I need your help, Mom.”

“We’re on our way. We’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

They had made it to me in ten.

My mom came off as prickly to many. She was set in her opinions and was never scared to share them. But she also admitted when she was wrong or had messed up. When it came to her and my dad, I knew no matter how bad our relationship was, if I called them in need, they would come. No questions asked.

That night, my mom and I sat on the front steps of Oliver’s home while my dad rocked River to sleep. We talked about it all. My mom shared the grittiness of her experiences raising Oliver as a single mom and was real with me in a way she hadn’t been before. My dad eventually joined us and talked about his experiences becoming a dad in an unconventional manner, and even commented on my brother’s unconventional path to fatherhood when he married his now-wife, who was a single mom to my oldest niece. The four of us really took the idea of a traditional family and threw it in the trash, making our families in the way we needed.

I saw my parents in a new light that night. I was ashamed to say that was one of the first times I truly understood they were doing this all for the first time, too. That every new day for me was a new day for them, too. They didn’t have all the answers, even when it felt like they did. When I was growing up, my parents felt invincible. They were the warriors standing in my corner, ready to fight any battle for me, even if it was an internal battle. That night humanized them.

We are all living this life, facing each new day for the first time. No matter how old you are, no matter how much life experience you have, each day is brand new to everyone. I reminded myself of that very principle while raising River. When he’s crying, throwing a tantrum, or doing that little foot stomp of his, I remember it’s his first time living that day, just like it is mine. So we’ll figure it out together.

That night with my parents changed our relationship in so many ways. They eventually accepted that I needed to live at Oliver’s and then my own home, and they fell in love with River. They doted on him, spoiling him every chance they could get. It was their idea to have a family dinner tonight, just to lift his spirits.

He had been complaining while with Theo, Oliver’s wife. It seemed he was mad at just about everyone and everything today. Theo had called my mom and arranged a family dinner at my parents' house. River had forgotten about his worries, at least temporarily, when he heard he got to see his Grammy and Grandpa. He was currently running circles with two of his cousins in the backyard, Oliver’s youngest two, Kaia and August.

Kaia, a couple of years older than River and August, was having a good time bossing the two boys around.

“Why aren’t you in the kitchen helping?” Violet asked accusingly.

I turned to my niece. She was only five years old, almost six, when I met her. Now, at sixteen years old, she was transforming from a child to a young adult. Though her dark brown hair and blue eyes that matched her mom’s hadn’t changed.

“I got kicked out. I almost burned the ground meat,” I explained.

Violet smirked knowingly. “Did you do it on purpose?”

I shot her a wink, and she burst into a fit of giggles. “When’s your dad getting here?”

She shrugged. “He’s finishing up a story or article—whatever you do. Mom said he would only be thirty minutes late.”

I needed to talk to Oliver about this new case. I just couldn’t fathom why Goldie wanted to partner up. Her treating me like a lost cause had worked out fine for over four years, so what had changed? She was right, though. I needed to get myself in check. I’d been flying by the seat of my pants since starting at the company, and it was time to get my shit together.

I needed this job. It offered incredible flexibility to be with River, and as his only parent, that was non-negotiable. Plus, I actually liked the work. I liked diving into these cases and sharing the truth. I had to get my act together to keep this place in my life. Funny how it’s only when you're on the verge of losing something that you realize how badly you need it.

If anyone could help me fix this, it was Oliver. He was close with Goldie, so maybe—just maybe—he could be my in, or at least give me a few tips on how to finally get on her good side.

When we first met, Goldie didn’t outright hate me. Not the way she did now. I had been captivated by her eyes, such a dark brown you couldn’t discern the pupil from the iris. She had long, sweeping black hair that had always fallen down her back in a shiny sheet. We were about the same age, the youngest at the company, and I hoped we could be friends… and when I first started working there, I thought we would be. The hatred hadn’t started until a few months later, right around the time River came into my life. Something flipped for her, something I didn’t know and she refused to tell me.