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Lukas growled at her. “It’s so much more than that. Aiden said he wanted to be with Blaire and I… I can tell Blaire has had a physical response to him.”

Mera leaned against the wall, observing the conversation in silence as Riley argued with him.

“Why don’t you just let her go, then? Isn’t that what you wanted?”

Lukas squeezed his fists tightly as he shook his head. He couldn’t understand why everyone was convinced he didn’t want Blaire. Sure, he had been an asshole and tried to run her off at first, but they had connected since then, he thought. If only everyone knew what was happening inside him. She was tearing him apart. Blaire came into his life and caught him completely off guard, and he didn’t know how to handle it constructively at all. Professor Velastra had been trying to help him. Trying to explain to him why his emotions were all over the place because of the bond, but it still didn’t help him know how to deal with it.

He closed his eyes and put his head in his hands, muttering, “I’m losing her… I don’t want to lose her… It’s all just so confusing. It’s not like that at all. It’s not what I wanted at all.” He looked up at Riley. “I can’t let her go. I feel connected to her in ways I can’t explain, and the mere idea of losing her causes me physical pain, and I don’t understand any of it.”

Mera spoke up quietly, “It’s your bond taking root. It’s the reason you feel these things, and it’s only going to get worse.”

Lukas raked a hand through his hair. He didn’t know if he could handle more. He barely held on as it was and if his control snapped, then what?

“If you don’t complete the bond, it is only going to continue to negatively impact you, and it’s likely causing the same issues for Blaire,” Mera said, motioning to Blaire, who clung tightly to his pillow but looked to be asleep.

That got his attention, and Lukas looked up at Mera with a furrowed brow. He didn’t like the idea that Blaire could be experiencing even half of what he did. This wasn’t something he would wish on anyone, especially her. It was bad enough he sensed her emotions at times. Whenever he sensed her fear, like earlier, and at the movies, it broke him inside. This was why he needed her heart to be in it. He couldn’t claim her in a moment of fear just because their bodies were ready. He wouldn’t do that to her. To himself. He wanted that moment to be something special.

“Do you not remember anything from the Korrena education classes? If you don’t get a grip on this, you’re going to hurt her. One way or another,” Mera said calmly.

Lukas shrugged lightly.

Every year, from the age of ten through the end of high school, students took a mandatory course in learning about what the Korrena was. How the bond worked. The marking. Everything. But all the textbook information and lectures could never have prepared him for the emotional and physical experience.

“I don’t want to hurt her…”

Riley rolled her eyes. “Well, duh. We all know that. But you’re going around acting like you’re withdrawing from some sort of drug.”

He glared at her before hanging his head back against the bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Does she know you won’t hurt her?” Mera asked.

“I told her I wouldn’t… but I… I put my hands on her,” he admitted quietly.

Riley stomped her foot in protest and before she could lash out at him like he could see coming, he raised a hand to stop her, sitting up and assuring her, “I have never hit Blaire or anything like that… it’s just that I’ve been more forceful in the way I’ve touched her. Moved her. She just… has this way of getting under my skin, and I lose all reason.”

Lukas ran a hand through his hair again and chewed the inside of his cheek for a moment before shaking his head. “I don’t want it to be that way. It’s not who I am.”

Both Mera and Riley nodded before Riley said, “We know that, but she doesn’t.” She pointed at Blaire.

He hung his head back against the bed again and stared at the ceiling. “None of it matters, anyway. Blaire doesn’t want me. She wants Aiden.”

“The only reason Blaire isn’t with you is because of you, and no one else,” Riley said, raising her voice again. “You’ve done nothing but push her away since she arrived, despite telling everyone you acknowledged her as your Korrena. You’re an idiot if you haven’t noticed the way Blaire looks at you. I’m not even bonded to her, and I can tell something is there.”

Lukas stared at her, not sure what to even say to any of that. They didn’t know what went on between him and Blaire. They could only go on what they saw when they were all together, and most of those times Lukas had kept his distance from Blaire and kept the conversation short. Feeling utterly defeated and uncertain, he could only go on what little scraps Blaire gave him, or the words his friends shared, but it wasn’t enough. He was tired of holding back. It apparently pushed Blaire away, anyway.

“Sure,” Riley continued. “Blaire might be attracted to my brother, but any attachment there is likely from her seeking comfort because of feeling rejected by you. It’s not a surprise, honestly, considering how much time they’ve spent together.”

“They do share several general education classes,” Mera added.

Lukas frowned and added, sounding childish to his own ears, “I do too, though.”

Riley glared at him. “Yeah, and you spend the entire time sulking and never bothering to engage with her unless it’s to be a smartass or scare the living daylights out of her. Besides, Aiden also spends time with Blaire in the cafeteria and on campus, even when they don’t have to be together. Do you, Lukas? Do you go out of your way to be around her, or are you going out of your way to avoid her?”

Lukas opened his mouth to respond, but Riley held her hand up.

“No, I already know the answer. Blaire already told me you avoid her.”

He looked down at the floor, surprised to hear Blaire had complained about him avoiding her. He didn’t think she cared to be around him because of what he was. Though thinking about it, it was a stupid thought to have if she was willing to be near Aiden and the others, and they were the same as him. But he had stopped avoiding her a while back. When had she told Riley that?