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Lukas sighed heavily. “The only way to prove it is to do it.”

She nibbled her lower lip. “I’ve been thinking about that. How much do you have to take? How much do I have to drink?”

Lukas frowned, looking thoughtful. “I don’t know exactly. I talked to Professor Velastra, and she told me the main stipulation was it had to happen when we both freely gave ourselves to each other. Drinking blood alone is not enough, having sex is not enough. There has to be that emotional connection—it’s spiritual. That’s another reason I won’t do it while you’re afraid. It wouldn’t even work.” He fiddled with one of his bracelets. “But she said she doesn’t know the amount needed, because pairs generally get caught up in sharing blood in those moments and probably take more than necessary. It’s not like it’s measured,” he mumbled, looking away.

Blaire licked her lips. “There’s also the Order and becoming a Vasirian. I can’t give up my humanity. Will I ever be able to do that? I… don’t know. I can’t promise you that. I won’t say never, because I don’t know what the future holds, but right now, I can’t accept that concept. And if you can’t accept my refusal, then I’m sorry, but…” She glanced over at her bag.

Lukas got up and moved in front of her, kneeling on the floor at her feet again, resting his hands on her thighs and looking up at her face. “I’m not going to make you do that. It was only Professor Velastra’s suggestion to help against the Order, but I don’t need that. All I need is you. If you’ll have me.”

Blaire shook her head. “When I packed to leave tonight, I thought that if I left now, then the bond doesn’t complete, and you won’t have to suffer when I grow old and die.”

Lukas’s eyes widened. He looked stricken.

Blaire looked away from him, unable to handle the pain on his face. Feeling it pouring off him in waves was hard enough. His relief from before was buried under a nauseating fear.

“If I leave you alone now, it’ll hurt less,” she whispered, staring at his lap as he knelt before her, unable to meet his eyes.

“That’s not how it works, Blaire…” Lukas took his finger and gently lifted her chin until their eyes met. “No matter where you go, no matter how you age, my heart will always belong to you. Even if we don’t complete the bond and you leave me tonight, that won’t stop the hurt. I’d rather spend the rest of your life loving you the way you are, and live the remainder of my days after that knowing I had the pleasure of experiencing that with you, than walk away now, and spend the rest of my days not knowing what I could have had.”

He brushed his hand over her cheek as tears dripped from her chin.

“Please just stay with me, and we can figure out this thing with the Order—without changing who you are. I’ll let you go if I have to… but I’m begging you not to choose that path. I don’t want to live without you anymore.”

Things weren’t perfect. Lukas had his moments. But if she waited for perfection and held him to a standard even she couldn’t meet, then she’d never be happy. She needed to trust him. He hadn’t given her a reason not to. Maybe it was time to trust in this. Trust that he’d respect her wishes about not becoming a Vasirian, at least not yet. Understand her fear of the bonding process.

Blaire closed her eyes as she leaned into the hand that still rested on her cheek. “I don’t know how I could have thought leaving was a good idea…”

Lukas sucked in a breath. “Does that mean…?”

Blaire nodded against his palm.

Lukas stood and twined his hands in hers, gazing into her eyes. Her heart filled with the hope rolling off him in waves. He tugged her to her feet beside him, then lowered his lips to hers in the softest of kisses. Not demanding, not begging, not taking more than giving or descending into the fiery passion that had dominated their interactions for months, simply thanking, cherishing, and loving. Tears spilled from her eyes at the contrast.

He ended the kiss and picked up her bag, taking it to the closet with purposeful steps, where he dropped it on the floor before collapsing onto his bed with a grin.

She would unpack it tomorrow; she couldn’t think of doing it tonight. After everything that happened, she didn’t have the desire to deal with it. She wiped her cheeks and entered the closet to get her pajamas.

Once she had changed into her nightshirt, she came out of the bathroom into their now darkened room and padded quietly over to her bed. As she adjusted the covers, Lukas was still moving around the room, and she heard him unzip his jeans and drop them to the floor before footsteps moved in her direction and stopped beside her bed.

“I told you I wouldn’t leave you alone… and I need you right now.”

Blaire hesitated for a moment, alarmed he meant sex, but her sensitivity to his emotional state said that wasn’t his intent. He needed reassurance. She slid over to allow him in, her chest swelling with contentment.

Lukas pulled back the covers and climbed into the bed with her. Reaching out and wrapping his arm around her waist, putting his other arm above her head on the pillow, he pulled her flush against his body and let out a shuddered breath as spooning with her brought him relief.

She needed Lukas as much as he needed her in that moment.

He buried his nose in her hair and closed his eyes as they both fell asleep in the silence of the room.

Blaire stirred in the darkness; her sleep disturbed. The sound of rain hitting the window as a late June storm raged outside had woken her up. The room suddenly illuminated as lightning flashed outside, followed by a loud clap of thunder that made her yelp.

“Blaire?” Lukas questioned groggily.

“It’s nothing. Sleep,” she whispered shakily, and pressed her back tightly against him, clinging to the arm wrapped around her from behind.

Another loud crash of thunder shook the window and Blaire flinched, covering her mouth.

Lukas lifted himself on his elbow, peering down at her. She could barely make his face out in the dark.