Page 19

Six original songs?

I stand and the floor is cool beneath my feet. My pulse kicks up again as temptation whispers to me while I pace around the kitchen. I want to say yes. I want to realize my dream of being a legitimate working songwriter. I want to join the ranks of other incredible women who’ve inspired me over the years: Carole. Dolly. Taylor. Lucinda.

“The label’s already rented out the Hideaway apartment and studio space. Murray will be there tomorrow to start working on his demo.” Barry cuts into my thoughts. “I’d feel a whole lot better about it if he had some help. So, what do you say, kid?”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to say yes. But then that good ol’ self-doubt rears its ugly head and whispers, What if you screw up again?

My reflection in the windowpane over the kitchen sink stares back at me. The way the phone is tucked between my chin and shoulder, it looks like I’m tethered to this spot. Or maybe anchored is more like it.

I glance down at my Do It Like Dolly bracelet, the gold-stamped letters glittering up at me from pastel beads.

Dolly Parton once said, “You’ll never do a whole lot unless you’re brave enough to try.” There’s no doubt in my mind that, presented with this exact opportunity, she would primp her hair, give a sharp, decisive nod, and say in her perky drawl, “Okay.” And then she’d wake up the next morning and write two hit songs before breakfast.

Could I ever write songs as epic as “Jolene” and “I Will Always Love You” in my lifetime, let alone on the same day?

Dolly did it.

I glance back at my reflection in the window.

Do it like Dolly.

Be brave enough to try.

I toss my wavy, dark auburn hair. Give my reflection a slight, not quite decisive nod. I’m no Dolly Parton, but…“I guess I can try,” I say as if I’m attempting to convince myself. While the tone of my answer inspires zero confidence, Barry doesn’t seem to mind.

“That’s all I’m asking for, kid.” There’s a loud smack followed by a muffled noise, like Barry’s clapped his hands and is rubbing them together like he just won the jackpot. “And, hey, no pressure, but if you help Murray finish even one original song, I’ll make sure you’re the go-to in-house songwriter for Exit 12S Records. You and Murray come up with a hit single? The sky’s the limit. This opportunity here is what they call a career-maker, kid.”

My mind snags on career-maker. I’ve already given up any and all thoughts of being a performing musician (not that I ever really wanted to be), and even though I postponed enrolling at Tennessee State this year, I did it with no formal guarantee that they’ll hold my spot for next fall. I’m not even sure what I want to do with my life anymore.

But this…this would bring me one step closer to achieving my dream.

Even though there’s a heck of a lot riding on this, maybe I can use this opportunity to put the past behind me. Prove to the world that just because I’m not meant for the stage doesn’t mean I don’t belong in the music industry. Prove to myself that I’m more than one bad onstage experience. There are so many talented, brave, inspiring female songwriters who have come before me. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, to be like them. So many of them had to fight and claw and scratch their way to the top, it would be ridiculous of me to look this gift horse in the mouth. The ones who came before me paved the way; it’s time for me to buckle in and take the wheel.

I’ll do it like Dolly: be brave enough to try. As I spin the Do It Like Dolly beads on my bracelet, a glimmer of courage sows itself deep inside me and the roots of determination take hold. Yes, there’s still an underlying current of uncertainty and doubt slithering beneath my skin, but if I dig down deep enough to the meat and bones of me, I’m feeling almost…hopeful?

“So, we start tomorrow?” I ask.

Track 6

Five Miles Has Never Felt So Far

Kash

November 2

The Town Car Barry sent picks me up bright and early, as promised.

Unfortunately, an accident on I-24W has us at a standstill. Bleary eyed and bored, I unlock my phone and pull up Six String Justice’s social media posts to see what they’ve been up to.

6StringJustice:

Inspiration comes and…dead weight goes. #newlineup

6StringJustice:

Heading back to Nashville! Exciting things to come!

6StringJustice: