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“If you’re trying to frighten me, it won’t work.”
His gaze shifted to mine. “You never should have let me touch you. How am I supposed to let you go?”
Don’t let me go.
The words hovered in the air between us, unspoken. He didn’t want forever, and I refused to do anything that would send him running. Instead, I allowed my legs to drop open in invitation.
With another curse, he settled over me. It was shocking, the cool feeling of his satin waistcoat on the heated skin of my breasts, the wool of his trousers against my inner thighs. But he was already pushing inside me, and I had the fleeting thought that I would die if he stopped.
He wasn’t gentle, but I didn’t want him to be. He moved inside me with hard thrusts, his mouth dipping to worship at my throat and breasts. I held him against me, my legs wrapping around his slim hips as I struggled to match his intensity.
All too soon, I was cresting that delightful peak, and he’d raised his head to watch me. He followed then, holding himself deep inside me before cursing and pulling out.
He hadn’t managed to avoid spilling inside me. We’d both been too carried away to stop in time.
He held himself over me, staring into my eyes. His jaw firmed and he started to speak. “If you—”
I clapped a hand over his mouth, afraid of what he was going to say. I wanted him forever, but not if he was going to offer me marriage after being trapped. In the unlikely event I fell pregnant with his child, I would leave London and give him his freedom.
But I didn’t want to think about that now.
“It will be fine,” I said. “I’m not at the proper time in my monthly courses that we need to worry about it.”
It was a lie, but the relief on his face told me everything I needed to know.
This man would never marry me.
Chapter 29
CLAIRE
Greyson stayed the night. We didn’t make love again, but I was content to sleep in his arms. As I drifted off, I could tell he was deep in thought, and I attributed his pensive mood to his fear of fathering a child with me.
In the morning, he was gone. When the butler told me he wouldn’t return for dinner, I had to close my eyes at the wash of pain. It was beginning. Soon I would have to learn how to carry on without him.
I tried to tell myself it wouldn’t be difficult. Mr. Tomlinson had assured me that my income was sufficient and would easily cover my expenses. But I couldn’t deny that a small part of me had hoped Greyson would come to love me, even as I’d known it would never happen.
It was mid-morning when I arrived at the orphanage. Greyson had assured me that my presence would always be welcome here, and I had to take him at his word.
Spending time with the children always lifted my mood. I tried not to show preferential treatment to Hope and Grace, but something about these two called out to me. Above all the others, I couldn’t help thinking that they needed me.
So when Helen Billingsley, the head governess, informed me they were no longer at the school, I turned on my heel and headed to Mrs. Atkinson’s office. I knocked softly at the door and was relieved when her voice bade me enter.
I stepped into the office and dipped into a slight curtsy.
“Is something the matter?” she asked, leaning back in her chair and putting down her writing quill. “You seem upset.”
She showed no sign of the annoyance I’d detected on my last visit. Perhaps she’d only been frustrated by another matter. I imagine running the school must be very stressful.
I folded my hands at my waist and tried to keep my voice even. “Helen just told me that Grace and Hope have been adopted.”
Mrs. Atkinson smiled. “Yes, isn’t that wonderful? Thank you for the extra time you took with them. You’ve been a great benefit to the school. And now you’ll be free to spend more time with the other children.”
There was something strange in her expression that had my senses on high alert. “Can you tell me who adopted them?”
Her brows drew together. “Unfortunately, that information is confidential. The privacy of the children who leave the school is paramount, which I’m sure you understand. Once a child leaves, they must sever all ties so they can fully embrace their new family.”
I ignored the rebuke. “Of course I understand, ma’am. But the girls lost their parents and then went through several family members who didn’t want to claim responsibility for them. I wanted to say goodbye and wish them well. I’d also like to ensure that their new family will treat them well.”