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Sebastian nodded. “We can agree on that.”

The scowl on Zachary’s face deepened at the interruption.

“But, as your friend, I have to say I think it is a terrible idea to marry the matchmaker.” He held up his hand as if to stop Sebastian from protesting, while in truth, Sebastian was not ready to respond yet because he did not know what he wanted to say. Tapping his foot with annoyance, he remained silent as Zachary continued. “While Miss Hu is a delightful young woman, she is not ton. She has no training on how to run a tonnish household. Nor has she experience in dealing with the ton as one of them, and you mean to put her in a position where she will draw the envy and ire of every debutante and matchmaking mama. Your children will pay the price as well.”

“Enough.” Sebastian’s voice was low, deadly. Not because Zachary was not making sense. Unfortunately, he was. More sense than Sebastian thought he would.

“You have to think sensibly about this, Sebastian.”

“Like you?” Getting to his feet, Sebastian glared at his friend. “Tell me, Zachary. You have chosen the ‘sensible’ path. You gave Delilah her congé, placated your mother, and are engaged to marry a debutante. And how happy are you?”

Zachary’s face paled, going so white, it nearly matched the collar of his shirt, stark against his dark hair.

“Happiness is not the point.”

The stilted, tight tone of voice was holding back a flood of emotions, which Sebastian could see flickering across his expression. Zachary had stiffened, going ramrod straight, shoulders back, as though facing a physical rather than verbal assault.

“It was not for you. But tell me, Zachary, when you look at our friends, and you look at their marriages, and you see what you could have had with Delilah if only you’d had the courage to take the less sensible path… tell me you have no regrets.”

Almost as soon as he’d said the words, Sebastian had his own regrets. Zachary might have deserved some pushback for sticking his nose into Sebastian’s business, but… he might have gone too far. Zachary’s expression was stricken, and he looked as though he was in real pain, his hand drifting up toward his chest before he seemed to realize what he was doing and snatched it away.

“Of course, I have regrets,” Zachary said hoarsely. “But I also know I made the right decision. The only decision I could have made. You do not… you do not know…” He turned his head to the side, his voice choking up, and clenched his jaw, clearly holding back the rise of his emotions.

“I do not know,” Sebastian conceded gently. “Because we are in completely different situations. Other options are open to me that may not have been to you. I do not particularly care what my mother thinks of my choice for wife. We have our friends to support us. Their children will be friends with my children. That is, if anyone even remembers this by the time our children are grown. By then, no one may care that my wife was not born to our set.”

Zachary pressed his lips together, still keeping his face turned away from Sebastian. Monkey Sinclair made a little noise of distress and climbed back down to his owner, sitting atop Zachary’s black hair and petting it gently.

Taking a deep breath, Sebastian said the next part as gently as he could, knowing it was going to hurt Zachary, but he wanted his friend to know how earnest he was. He never wanted to have to repeat this conversation with Zachary again.

“Now that I have found her, marrying for love is the only sensible choice. To marry someone else would be a travesty.”

Straightening, turning at the same time so Sebastian could not see his face, Zachary strode toward the window. Monkey Sinclair hopped down onto his shoulder, holding onto Zachary’s collar to keep his balance, making more little chittering noises. The kind he often made when Zachary was distressed.

It was not that Sebastian had wanted to distress Zachary, but he also did not see how it was avoidable under these circumstances. He was not going to lie about his feelings for Mei, nor was he going to let Zachary push his own circumstances onto Sebastian’s choices.

He did not need to say aloud that seeing Zachary’s misery had influenced his decision. The other man already knew.

“I am sorry that you were not able to make the same choice,” Sebastian said softly.

Zachary did not answer him.

Feeling an ache of sympathy for his friend, Sebastian watched him for a long moment, but Zachary did not move from his place by the window. He was not certain if Zachary would accept any consolation from him. From what he could tell, his friend wanted to be left alone.

“I will see you at breakfast.” Sebastian headed to the door. He glanced back once, hand on the knob, but Zachary had still not moved from his place by the window. Staring out at the landscape, his shoulders tight, while Monkey Sinclair continued to pet him.

While Zachary was not incorrect that Sebastian had chosen a hard road, Sebastian knew which turn in the fork he wanted to take. And it was not the one where he ended up like Zachary.

34

Mei

Creeping through the halls and making her way to her room without being seen gave Mei a feeling of triumph when she finally reached her door. She had done it! Giddy with success, she slipped through her door and closed it behind her, leaning against the hard wood with a sigh of relief. It was only now that she was safely in her room, no longer panicking about being caught, that the first little hint of wistfulness caught at her.

She had not wanted to leave Sebastian this morning.

Even now, her body still tingled with the memory of his touch. His hands. His mouth. The soreness between her legs was uncomfortable, yet she did not mind at all.

Making her way to her bed, Mei undid the sash to her dressing gown and slid beneath the covers, laying her head down on the pillow. Despite her late night and the current early hour of the morning, she could not sleep. Her mind was too busy. Thinking about last night. Thinking about tonight.