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Mei felt as though she was drowning in sensation and yet somehow floating at the same time. The only thing that was keeping her afloat was the weight of his body pressing down on hers. Which made no sense at all, but then none of this did.

She held onto him, as he’d commanded, her nails digging into his shoulders as he moved powerfully over her, each thrust driving her into the bed. Each thrust sending hot waves of pleasure through her body, her toes curling as he pressed against the nub of her clitoris. Though she did her best to keep her cries soft, it was difficult because the growing pressure inside her needed some kind of release…

And then it came.

An explosion of ecstasy, from deep within her, sending wave after wave of shuddering bliss through her body from her core all the way out to her fingers and toes. Mei felt tears sliding down the sides of her cheeks from the intensity of the pleasure, her breath coming in panting gasps as her body was wracked with pure pleasure. She only barely noticed the duke was rigid above her while she clenched and writhed, rubbing herself against him.

It was not until the last vestiges of her pleasure had passed that he suddenly withdrew… she felt the loss of him and then realized why as she felt the splash of warm liquid against her inner thighs and on her mound. His seed. He’d withdrawn to ensure that she did not end up with child.

Which was very considerate, and she was grateful for, yet it was also a cold splash of reality against the heated pleasure.

“That was… incredible.” The duke’s low voice sent another shiver down her spine as he moved his lips across her jaw.

“It was,” she replied honestly, though a little kernel of coldness had taken up space in her stomach where so much warmth had been before. It had been incredible. Amazing. Eye-opening. She wanted more. Not just of the pleasure, but of him. And that was not possible.

This was all she could expect.

“Come,” he said, pressing another soft kiss to her lips that made her ache. “We need to get cleaned up. The others could be back any minute.”

Which meant their time alone was over. Her chest felt tight, her heart aching, as he used his cravat to clean his seed off her. A sense of shame washed over her as she tucked her breasts back into her stays. As he helped her back into her dress and laced her back up. When they were finished setting themselves to rights, she looked up to see the lack of a cravat around his neck.

He smiled down at her, warmth glowing in his eyes, and she did her best to smile back. Lovers. That was what she’d signed up for. That was all that was possible. It was not his fault that Society was the way it was or that she’d just realized she was going to be heartbroken when they left the house party. It was not his fault that there was more behind her attraction to him than mere desire.

The duke lowered his head, pressing a kiss to her lips, and Mei kissed him back passionately. Clinging to him. Because right now, she could. Even as she felt her heart breaking, she knew she had to savor every moment with him. Try to memorize it. So she’d have the memories even when she no longer had him.

When he raised his head again, he released her. Reluctantly. His fingers trailed along her sides, as though he wanted to let her go as little as she wanted him to.

“Meet me back here tonight? After the others are abed?” His voice was low, rough. Full of desire.

Her heart ached even harder inside her chest as she looked up at him and nodded. A quick smile flashed across his face.

“Good.” Another brief press of his lips against hers, then he unlocked and opened the door. A quick glance into the hallway revealed no one, and he stepped back, holding the door open for her to go through.

As much as Mei did not want to leave that sunlit room, so private and cheery, and return to the real world, she knew that she must. It felt almost like a harbinger of things to come, to leave that lovely little room for the dark hallway.

Mei glanced over her shoulder. The duke was still in the doorway, watching her go, and he slowly lowered his head in acknowledgment. Of course. In order to avoid suspicion, it was best not to be seen walking together. They needed to walk separately.

As much as she hated it, she saw the logic. Everything he was doing protected her. Her honor, her employment, even her body. It would be an utter disaster for her if she were to become pregnant. Though Mei had no doubt he would do the honorable thing, that would make her dependent upon him for the rest of his life. Employment as a matchmaker would be completely impossible, even more so than if they were just discovered to be lovers.

Yet somehow, in the heat of the moment, she had not thought of that. Had not stopped him. She’d assumed she would be able to, but she’d been entirely at his mercy, too overwhelmed by her body to be able to make sound decisions. Which was extremely lowering.

Even now, her body was still buzzing and humming, agonizingly sensitive.

And all she could think about was meeting him again tonight.

28

Mei

I am terrible.

Horrid.

The absolute worst.

Because the desire to pull Lady Darcy’s hair out, when Mei was the one who had expressly picked her to be invited to meet the duke, was growing stronger by the minute. Even though the duke himself was not looking at the lady any differently than he had before, the wave of jealousy that ran through Mei as the pair spoke was difficult to suppress. It got worse when Lady MarcyAnne joined him on his other side.

Thankfully, Lady Darcy’s brother had apparently taken a liking to Miss Fenley and was currently engaging her in conversation, and Lord Hayworth had a firm grip on Lady Juliette’s attention, so Mei supposed the situation could be worse. But this was not professional of her at all.