Monsters Weep Too, Little Bluebird
Page 75
This must be one of his good days. This was the Malakar I craved. The one who radiated sweetness and light. The one who made me feel special and safe. Not trapped.
He held out his hand. I took it. He helped me up and led me to the bathroom. He sat me down on the toilet, then grabbed a rag. I watched him hold the rag underneath the water. He squeezed out the excess water, then rubbed the fabric on my face.
Our eyes met. In those eyes, I saw a flicker of Milo. The one who stole my heart all those years ago. The version of him who fell inside the black was gone. Hiding. As if he never existed.
“Thank you.”
“I’d do anything for you, you know that right?” He rubbed his hand on my arm. Soft and slow.
I blinked at him. Did he truly mean those words? Or were they all a lie? Would he snap if I said the wrong thing? “I know. You always looked out for me. Even back when we were teenagers in that place.”
His expression softened. “You were so damaged, and so was I. Your darkness called to me, Starla. I knew I had to protect you, to make you feel understood and cared for. I had to.”
I nodded. “I know.” I touched his hand. “You did make me feel safe back then. You were the only one who knew how it felt to be a freak in a fucked up family.”
“The dark is a cruel thing. It took us under too early. We didn’t even have a chance at life. You understand that.”
“Well there’s still a chance to live, Malakar. It’s not over.” I watched his reaction. “You are not a lost cause. You are hurting. You are sick and broken, but there is still good in you.”
His face scrunched in confusion. “What? No, it’s too late for me, bluebird. I’m a lost cause. I’ve sunk too deep. Not you, though. You’re still holding yourself up, you’re not lost in the void yet.”
I held his hand tighter. “You’re not a lost cause. I’ve seen the light inside of you. It’s there, Malakar. You just have loads of unprocessed trauma, and untreated mental illness, but there is hope.”
He shook his head and backed away. Shit.
“No, no. I’ve done too much bad. I’m bad, bluebird. Don’t you see that? If I was a better person, I would have let you go. I can’t, though. I’m hellbent on keeping you here, forever. Would a good person do that?”
I opened my mouth, then closed it. He had a point. Then again, he was deeply confused and disturbed. I don’t think he even understood what it was to make good, ethical decisions. He was so scarred by something in his childhood, he truly thought it was for the best to keep me here. Something warped his mind long ago. Was it too late for him?
A knock on the front door diverted our attention. His head snapped towards where the sound came from. “I’m not expecting company.”
The door to the bathroom was open, I peered cautiously into the hallway. Part of me wanted him to stay, the other part wanted him to answer the door.
“Maybe you should answer it. If you don’t, they might get suspicious.” His car was parked outside. It was obvious that someone was home.
He shook his head. “No, they’ll go away.”
They didn’t go away. The knocking came again. Louder and louder. Malakar shot up and cursed under his breath. In the rush of the moment, he forgot to close the door. He walked out into the hallway down the stairs to the front door. I followed him.
I watched from the shadows. Malakar stood straight, shoulders back, then opened the door. I couldn’t see the person’s face, but I heard a voice. That voice, I recognized it. I heard it many times before. I heard that voice call me terrible names. I heard that voice threaten me, degrade me.
“Are you Malakar?”
I could see the tension in Malakar’s back. “Yes. Who are you?”
“I’m the one that Starla belongs to.”
Before Malakar could process that, he was knocked onto the ground.
There was chaos immediately.
I heard flesh hit bone. A sick, thudding crunch. Malakar pitched backward, head slamming into the floor. The world stuttered. A punch landed, then another. Brandon was on top of him, all muscle and fury, fists pounding Malakar’s jaw, his cheek, over and over like he wanted to drive him through the floorboards.
Seeing the scene unfold was surreal. The monster wasn’t supposed to be breakable.
Malakar grunted, trying to twist free, but Brandon drove his elbow into Malakar’s windpipe. Once. Twice. The air left Malakar’s lungs in a strangled gasp.
I stared hard out of the shadow, frozen. My body refused to move. My mind wasn’t slow, though. My mind was screaming.