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I don’t say anything for a couple of seconds, and Isa’s face softens.

“Is he awake?” I close my eyes as I ask this question. The ticking of the clock in the waiting room suddenly sounds louder, and I can’t stop twitching.

“No. He is in a coma. Some of that is because of the medications we are using to protect his brain, and some of it is because of the injury itself. The next forty-eight to seventy-two hours are critical. An exceptional team will monitor him.”

Critical.

I know what that word means, and I know exactly what he's saying.

My eyes drift somewhere over his shoulder, settling on a faint crack in the wall. Was that crack here before?

The fluorescent lights hum above us. Someone wheels a cart down the hallway. The world keeps moving. But I don’t.

"Do you understand, Lana?" It sounds like somebody is underwater.

It takes me a second to realize he's talking to me as he is repeating my name.

“Ms Osmanovic?” He sounds worried about me, but nothing he hasn’t seen before as a doctor. Probably.

I blink once and I address him. "Yes."

I understand every single word that is coming out of his mouth, yet I can’t make them belong to us—Emin and me.

"Do you have any questions?"

My mouth opens before I know what I'm going to say. "He'll wake up."

Isa doesn’t get the chance to say something as I interrupt him. "He will wake up," I repeat quietly.

I have to keep repeating that to myself because the alternative is me walking out of this hospital and murdering every single person that comes my way.

That kind of carnage needs to be hidden from the world.

“Can I see him?” The question leaves my mouth before I have time to think about it. It is the first thing that feels important. Not the surgery. Not the words he just said. Not the terrifying list of things that could happen.

Just him. I need to see my best friend.

“You can. Follow me.”

My legs move before my mind catches up. I follow him down the hallway, past doors and nurses and people who all seem to know exactly where they are going. Everyone has a purpose. Everyone is moving with urgency.

Except me.

I feel like I am walking through quick sand and it’s swallowing me whole.

Isa says something as we walk. “He’s in the ICU. He’s currently intubated, which means the breathing tube is supporting him while he’s unconscious. We’re keeping him sedated, and we’re monitoring the pressure and swelling in his brain very closely.”

I nod.

People always talk about shock like you don't understand anything. Like everything becomes a blur. But I understand. I understand too much.

Intubated.

Sedated.

Swelling.

Brain injury.