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“I’m not sure which I hate more,” I joke.

He chuckles. “We can think of something. For now, it’s just enough that we’re together.”

He sits back, his hand in mine. I lie back and close my eyes. “Nikolai,” I say with my eyes closed.

“Yeah?”

“I want to give us a shot,” I say. “A real shot. Not love bombing, promises, and heartbreak. I want us to try to be grownups. To build something real.”

“I need that,” he says fiercely. “I’ll try to tone down the part of me that wants to fall to one knee right here and tell you I love you.”

I swallow, throat going tight. It’s lucky my eyes are closed because I can feel hot tears gathering there. “Yeah, you need to resist urges like that.”

For now.

“Good thing I’ve got self-control, then,” he says, laughing.

I laugh and lie back, keeping my eyes closed, thinking of what life will be like now. Will we go on proper dates? Will we have a chance to grow and flourish together? Will we eventually go our separate ways?

My stomach tightens just at the thought of that. That isn’t an option. Somehow, I know we’re closer to his reality than mine. We’re closer to being in love than we are to being casual, to taking it slow.

I want him. I need him. And I want and need him to need me too.

Maybe that’s enough for now. The rest is for a future text.

EPILOGUE

NIKOLAI

One Month Later

Nikolai: You know I still love watching you.

I’m standing at the one-way glass watching Serena as she walks across the VIP section.

She pauses near the door, holding her clipboard and looking around the room. She takes out her phone, smiles up at the one-way glass, and texts me back.

Serena: Even in my kickass business bitch attire?

Nikolai: You look amazing. Hot as fuck, and capable as fuck too. I’m so proud.

I’m not lying about how good she looks. Stylish pants cling to her thighs, with a pale pink shirt tucked in, and her hair flowing down to her waist. Most of all, she looks focused, watching for any signs of misconduct from the guests. Now that Celeste is helping in the new club with Anton, my girlfriend has taken over her duties.

At first, I offered the new club to Serena. We were in bed, her face flushed, breathless after our lovemaking. When I told her, she put her hand on my chest and looked at me seriously. “I’m just starting to get my feet under me. I don’t want to rush. I want to learn. To do it right.”

Serena: I’m just doing my best.

Nikolai: You’ve made this club better. And you’ve done so much more than that. You’ve changed this entire city. You’ve paved the way for us. I love you so much for that.

I’m talking about the recording she got of Rafael. There was a danger of him becoming a martyr after his death, of someone taking over the Marlins and using him to harp on legacy and get support. Not after those recordings were leaked online, and the world heard just how evil he truly was.

Together, we took the head off the snake.

Serena: I suppose things have always been easier over text for us.

She puts her clipboard down and stares up at the one-way glass. It doesn’t make sense for a moment. What am I missing?

I reread the message.