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Isit at the kitchen counter, my business management textbook open. I’m making notes for Rosa’s benefit. She’s tidying up in the adjoining living room, but I’m sure she’s sneaking looks over when I’m checking the phones. Nikolai is like two different men, showing his more serious side with Iris, and his more playful side with me.

X: You can be assured we’re doing the right thing for Price. You don’t need to be concerned about that. I’ve made mistakes, but I’m going to do the right thing.

Nikolai: I can’t stop thinking about what we did. I can’t stop thinking about taking you out. You’ve seen me, Serena. Was I ever dating my employees? Was I ever a playboy? Hell no. And you know it.

Serena: What if I just say you’re coming on too hot for me?

Nikolai: Then I’ll know you’re lying. But if you mean it, I’ll step back. I can’t regret what we did.

Serena: Neither can I. I don’t know what came over me. It was easily the craziest thing I’ve ever done.

Nikolai: You let yourself go. You’ve spent your whole life holding on tightly. You need control. But then, you let go, you didn’t have to stress over every little thing.

Serena: Stressing over every little thing is going to come in handy one day.

Nikolai: Oh yeah? How?

Has he forgotten?

Serena: When I have my own club and do things my way.

Then it hits me. Have I seriously just slipped up like that? I can blame sleep deprivation or common-sense deprivation. It doesn’t matter now. Iris has told him she – I, me, I’m seriously losing my mind – wants a club. Not Serena.

Nikolai: You want to have your own place?

Serena: Maybe one day. It’s one idea in a business portfolio.

This is technically true. It was part of my final assignment before the debt caught up, Mateo’s creditors finally lost their patience, and Pico got sick every two months for a year.

Serena: Another is a doggy daycare.

Nikolai: Why not a nightclub with a daycare?

Serena: I don’t think clients would like that. How can you be so… you, and so goofy?

Nikolai: So, me? I’m going to take that as a compliment.

So intense, dangerous, intimidating, and interesting. And so silly.

I stop texting when I realize Rosa is smiling at me with a knowing glint in her eyes. I quickly put my cell phone away, leaving the burner in my lap, out of sight.

“The mystery man?” she asks.

“I don’t know, Rosa,” I murmur. “I just don’t know.”

“Mateo betrayed you, Serena. He lied to you. You didn’t get hurt because you let yourself go. You got hurt because it was with the wrong person. But this man… he’s handsome, he treats you well, he’s rich⁠—”

“Zoe couldn’t have given you that much. You’ve built this whole idea about him. It’s more complicated than that.”

She raises her hands. “I know, you’re right. It’s your life, and you need to live it.”

“It’s our life,” I say, walking around the kitchen partition and hugging her. “And I’m glad you’re taking an interest. But the thing is, it’s impossible to know beforehand.”

“You once told me you didn’t love Mateo,” Rosa replies gently.

“I didn’t. Maybe there was a spark, once. Maybe. But then it was fear.”

“You never followed your heart with Mateo, then, if you didn’t love him.”