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“Let’s do it!”

“Atta girl!” I can just barely make out his laughter. “You’re kinda hot when you’re gutsy,” he mutters. Casper continues going over a couple reminders of the free-fall and canopy time. “When we jump, keep your eyes open, and look toward the horizon!”

“’Kay!”

I don’t argue, at this point, I’d probably do anything he told me for fear of somehow jeopardizing my safety of not following instructions. I take a shaky breath as I stare thousands of feet below to the drop zone.

Then he counts us down, and I put my head back on his shoulder like I was instructed earlier.

“Three . . . Two . . . Don’t close your eyes!”

We leap into nothingness, and adrenaline rips through me. The roar of the plane’s engine fades, and my entire body is met with a forceful wall of wind resistance. It’s nothing like the drop of a roller coaster I was expecting; instead it’s like being supported under a powerful cushion of air. My heart pounds as we accelerate toward the earth in a free fall.

At this elevation, I’ve lost all sense of depth perception as the world opens up below like a giant map. The exhilarating rush of falling is all-consuming.

The fear, the anxiety, is replaced with euphoria.

Even though Casper is wearing a camera on his wrist, I savor the thrill, cataloging every sensation, wanting to memorize every second of soaring through the sky. I focus on the dive; there’s an overwhelming feeling of insignificance—it’s liberating. There’s something so comforting about being a mere speck in the universe. Any stress regarding my recovery, Rhys, my job, therapy, none of it really matters. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I’m so happy to be alive—really alive.

I haven’t felt like this in so long. I’ve been too concerned with the never-ending schedules and systems for myself that I’ve forgotten to live life to the fullest. I only get one chance to experience the world, and it’s time for me to take more chances. Connect with Rhys. Forgive myself—and mean it. There’s no need for me to continue to carry that burden.

“Ten more seconds of free fall!” he shouts over the wind.

I savor every single one of them before we’re jerked upward as the canopy opens above us. The blustering wind around us dissipates as we’re transformed from the thrilling plummet to a quiet, floating descent.

“You did it!” Casper calls out with a laugh. “I’m so proud of you!”

I never thought I could do that, but Casper did, and I’m so grateful he did.

“This is incredible!” I yell back. I want to say more, but I’m speechless. The view below is breathtaking, the swell of the horizon stretches across my entire view as we float down to earth. The edges of the sky are dusted with pinks and oranges as sunset quickly approaches. The field and the copse of trees below take on some of those fiery hues. It’s absolutely stunning.

My heart continues to hammer a million beats a minute. Casper was right. This is living. My life isn’t over, it doesn’t have to be an endless monotony of agendas and calendars. There’s still excitement to be had. Experiences to experience. A fire is lit in my soul, burning in places that have been dormant for years.

Casper Carrows did that, and he’ll never understand how priceless a gift this is.

She tucks her legs up perfectly in the last five seconds as the ground rises to meet us, allowing me to touch down first, where we complete a perfect butt-slide landing.

Anna lets out a happy squeal before she’s overcome with laughter. I take my time unclipping her, enjoying the feel of her body tethered to mine. When we’re disconnected, she stands, turning toward me with a smile stretched across her face.

“I can’t believe I did that!” she yelps.

I chuckle. “How was it?”

“Oh my God, unreal!” she says, catching her breath before pulling off her goggles to reveal bright, shining eyes. She’s more animated than I’ve ever seen her and it fills my chest with pride. It’s like this whole other side of her that’s been woken up, and she looks so fucking beautiful.

“I knew you could do it.”

Her face lights up and she nods, her lips still parted softly. Anna tucks a few hairs that came loose behind her ears. “Can we go again?”

I was able to talk Danny, the pilot, into taking us up for another run, and by the time we get back to earth it’s nearly nine p.m. and we’re both starving. Instead of waiting to get back to the cities to eat, we stop at a roadside diner on the way back and coincidentally, both of us order pancakes for dinner.

While we wait for our food to arrive, she’s returned to her more quiet nature, however, this time it’s a comfortable silence. She holds my gaze, studying me with a smirk. I narrow my eyes back at her. I’d do horrible things to know what she’s thinking. Neither of us speaks, playing the game where we see who can hold out the longest.

Our food arrives, breaking the spell between us, and we thank the server as he sets down the plates of steaming pancakes. She glances down and picks up the fork and knife, slicing into the fluffy stack in front of her. I can’t take it anymore.

“You’re bugging me. What’s up?” I ask, pouring syrup over my pancakes.

Her hair is still a mess from the goggles and helmet, rebellious strands coming loose in random places despite her tucking the hair behind her ears. She’s smiling with flushed cheeks, still wearing that leftover high of adrenaline. She probably looks like this after sex.