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He grins. “Eager for a repeat?”

I consider his question before answering. “It was fun, but I don’t think I need it again. Not because I didn’t love it—it’s just . . .” I search for the correct words. “It just felt like one of those things that belonged to tonight—this moment. I’m not saying never, but if this was the last time, I’d still be grateful for the experience.”

“Agreed.”

It happened the way it was meant to, and how beautiful it is that we could share it. The way he made space for me to be brave, the way he let me choose, the way he checked in with me and watched me like I was the most treasured thing in the room kept me safe and allowed me to stay present the entire time.

I clasp his hand and bring it to my mouth, kissing his knuckles. “Thank you.”

He looks at me with a quirked brow.

For making me feel alive again.

For showing me that curiosity doesn’t have to be dangerous.

For allowing me to feel sexy and desired without fear.

For loving me in a way that makes my whole world brighter and more vibrant.

“For all of it.”

That night, after getting cleaned up, I curl into his side. No makeup, no lingerie, no worries. While we lie in each other’s arms, I can’t help but notice that it feels like I’ve stepped more fully into my own life. I’m not watching it pass at a distance anymore, I’m here for all of it—the fears, thrills, tenderness, excitement, and wonder.

I glance up at him, tracing my finger along the silhouette of his jaw, endlessly grateful that he’s handed these feelings back to me—feelings I wasn’t sure I could have while maintaining my sobriety. He didn’t force them, he simply showed me that they’re mine if I want them.

His chest rises and falls soundly as he sleeps, something tells me he’s been sleeping better since the space has been transformed. I press a kiss to his chest and rest my head on him. I fall asleep listening to the steady rhythm of his heart, loving him with every beat of mine.

I’m not sure if it’s the recent renovation of Casper’s place or hearing the other people talk about their similar desires for a new start, but it has inspired me to rearrange my apartment. I’m committing myself to something new and fresh; perhaps it’s time for my space to reflect that.

I’ve decided to start in the bedroom; with my hands on my hips I glance around. It’s too stale in here; time to shift the energy. I toss all of my bedding and pillows into the living room, then clear the mantel and my dresser. I need to see it as a blank slate.

The fireplace limits me, but all that does is provide the opportunity for a challenge.

I move my nightstands to the other room, then the plants. By the time I turn to the mirror on the wall, a few strands of hair have come loose and are sticking to the back of my neck. It’s never been my favorite piece anyway; it’s too big for the spot and a little too high. Time to go. I grip the frame with both hands and lift, spinning on my heel and carrying it into the living room to sit patiently with my other things while I shake up the vibe.

When I return to the bedroom, I freeze.

There’s a rectangle carved into the wood paneling, like someone cut a hole and filled it with the piece that was removed, but it’s a really shitty patch job. My stomach drops before my brain can even catch up. What the fuck is that?

My landlord is my first thought; did he come in and do some kind of maintenance? Doubtful, he always schedules those visits ahead of time, and he may be getting older, but this isn’t his handiwork; maybe he’s started hiring shitty contractors to save money? I suspect the mirror will have to stay there.

My fingers follow along the cut line and the piece shifts. I apply pressure, pushing it until it falls away into the wall.

“Okay, I should have seen that coming.”

I turn the flashlight on my phone, shining it into the hole, and stumble backward when I realize the space behind there is deep.

Holy shit.

I grab a stepstool from my closet and climb up to look into the wall.

“Oh my God.”

Hair stands up on the back of my neck.

There’s a fucking room or hallway or something on the other side. It’s creepy as fuck. I desperately want to replace that rectangle piece back and then nail a board over it. What the hell is in there?

My heart hammers as I stare at the wall, studying it, and then I notice a seam that follows the wood paneling; it’s camouflaged. Is this new?