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“This doesn’t leave this room.”
“You know I’m always discreet.”
That was true. My brother was a vault. Most of the time if I confided in him, I didn’t even need to make him promise to keep it to himself; he just did it naturally. He was trustworthy like that. But in this case, I needed verbal confirmation that he’d keep his mouth shut because this was about Erin, and she was important to me. “Remember how I thought I knew Rinnie from somewhere?”
Derek nodded.
“Well, I finally figured out how I know her. She’s Erin.”
“You’ll have to be a little more specific, brother. I don’t know any Erins.”
“Yes, you do. She’s the girl from my last year of school. The one who disappeared after we’d only been hanging out a couple of weeks?”
His eyebrows were no longer furrowed; instead, they’d shot up into his forehead. “The one you were letting sleep at the hotel?”
“Yes.”
“Right. I do remember her. Wow, she looks completely different.” He started studying me again. “You were really cut up when she left town. I remember how long it took you to finally stop hoping she’d come back.”
“I’d been falling for her, but I was too young and inexperienced to realise it.” The confession spilled out of me like water. “Now, she’s working for us, and we’ve been spending all this time together, and I’m developing feelings for her again, but—”
“But you don’t date the employees.”
“Correct, but it’s not even that. I’d be willing to break that rule for her. The problem is that she swore off relationships after her last boyfriend. I won’t go into details, but he wasn’t good for her. It’s a life choice she made for herself, and I feel so selfish asking her to give that up and take a chance on us. I mean, the choice is all hers, and I respect if she doesn’t want to change the decisions she’s made, but with the intensity of how I feel … The thought of her saying no … Fuck, it’ll wreck me, Derek.”
My brother chewed on the pen cap. “That’s heavy.”
My shoulders drooped. “Yeah.”
A long silence fell before he asked, “Was her ex abusive?”
I shook my head. “Not as far as I know, but they did have an unusual dynamic.”
“What does that mean?”
“I can’t share those details. All I’ll say is the relationship took a lot out of her. It harmed her psychologically. That’s why she eventually ended it and chose a life of celibacy.”
“Celibacy? Bloody hell, I didn’t know it was that bad.”
“Her heads all messed up about sex, and I want to help her get past it, but I’m not even sure if I’m the right person for that or if she even wants to get past it.”
“She needs a therapist if it’s that bad.”
“Maybe,” I agreed just as there was a soft knock on the door. Fuck. I suddenly regretted telling my brother all this right before we were due for a meeting with Erin and Katy. I trusted he wouldn’t share what I’d told him, but perhaps it wasn’t fair to her. Speaking to Derek had helped a little, but now I had to sit in a room with both of them, Erin none the wiser that my brother knew some personal things about her.
I stood and went to open the door, my gaze locking with Erin’s. Her cheeks appeared to flush, her chest rising with a sharp inhale, and I only realised we were standing there staring at one another for longer than necessary when Katy said, “Uh, is this a bad time? We can come back later.”
“No, it’s a perfect time. Please come in,” I said, stepping aside to let them in. The two women entered the room, each taking one of the three empty seats available, while my brother arched an eyebrow at me. His expression said it all. I was being awkward and needed to pull my shit together.
I noticed Derek typing something out on his phone after he greeted Erin and Katy, and I saw my own phone light up as I went to sit down. I lifted it from where it sat on the desk, and sure enough, there was a message from my brother.
You really have it bad.
I shot off a speedy response.
Keen observation. Thanks.
He was typing again.
