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Oh. Oh my …

“It was a very long time ago,” I breathed. “People fade from our memories.”

“Don’t you think it means something that our paths crossed like this all these years later?”

A frog got stuck in my throat. “W-what do you mean?”

“What the Cure said about us.”

Before he could finish, a loud noise cut through the moment. It was his phone, and it was playing some rap song about always being late. I smiled, shooting him a questioning glance as he turned it off.

“Becky programmed all these reminders into my phone so that I’m not late to meetings. I sometimes get distracted by what I’m doing and forget where I need to be.”

“That’s helpful,” I said.

“Yeah, listen,” he began as he slid his phone back in his pocket and started standing up. He held his hand out to help me to my feet, and our palms met, his warm skin sending tingles through me. Then he raised his other hand, cupping one of my cheeks, and for half a second, it felt like the entire world stopped spinning. His thumb moved softly along my cheekbone, almost reverent, his eyes taking all of me in like he couldn’t quite believe he was touching me. That the last half hour had happened and I was standing right in front of him.

I felt like he might kiss me … or perhaps I’d be the one to kiss him, the moment so charged we were in danger of an electrical shock. I wasn’t thinking clearly, and that was probably why I started to close my eyes, teetering towards him—and then his phone started playing the song again.

His hands fell away, going into his pocket to retrieve his phone, “How the hell do I silence these?” he muttered to himself while I mourned the loss of what might’ve happened.

A moment later, my brain kicked in, reminding me about certain choices I’d made for myself and how I, expressly, could not be standing in empty cottages making lovey eyes at Tristan Balfe and almost kissing him. I was not, and never would be, looking for another relationship.

“I have a meeting to get to now, but I want to finish this conversation later. Are you free for dinner? I could have Becky make a reservation.”

“Tristan,” I interrupted, and he paused, waiting for me to continue. Nervous tension coalesced in my stomach as I took a step towards him. “Look, I’m really relieved that everything’s out in the open between us now, and I’m glad we got to have this talk, but I’m not looking for anything romantic.”

I saw the moment his features fell, and I hated myself for denying both of us the chance to explore what might be, but it needed to be done. When I’d ended things with Zach, I’d promised myself I’d never live under the shadow of someone else’s needs, and when I was in a relationship, I went into this strange default mode of putting the other person before myself. At first, it felt good to make another person happy, but eventually, I lost something of my own identity, became a ghost.

“Is it because you work for me?” he asked. “Because I promise you, Erin, no matter what happens between us, your job here is safe. I would never do anything to jeopardise that.”

Well, that was also a good point, and one I hadn’t been thinking about when I’d been getting lost in his soft, handsome brown eyes. It reminded me of what Katy had said about Tristan never dating his employees. I latched onto this information, hoping I might not have to expose my own issues in the process. “Well, I was told that you never date the people who work for you.”

“Who told you that?”

“I can’t remember,” I said, not prepared to throw Katy under the bus, even if she had been less than kind to me that day. “People talk, you know. Anyway, I wouldn’t want to—”

“It’s true that I’ve never dated an employee,” he said, moving closer until suddenly my back was flat against the garden wall, and Tristan was unnervingly close, close enough that my fingers itched to flatten against his chest, grip his shirt and pull him in before smashing my lips to his. There was no denying the chemistry between us, but that didn’t matter when I’d chosen to stick to a single life long ago, and it had served me well so far. Being on my own for the last six years might’ve had its lonely moments, but the peace of mind and sense of personal freedom was a revelation. I couldn’t give that up, no matter how strongly I felt the pull towards Tristan. “But I would be prepared to make an exception for you and you alone.”

“I can’t,” I whispered, my voice cracking with regret.

“Erin.”

“It’s not you. You’re perfect. Honestly, you might be better than perfect. It’s me. I’m, well, I’m celibate.”

His eyebrows did a surprised jump as he tilted his head. “Is this because of your ex?”

When I didn’t answer, his gaze lingered on my face. “Because if it is, you should know I’m a pretty uncomplicated man when it comes to sex. I like wanting each other, feeling that desperation just to touch. I like taking my time, learning what pleases, doing it again and again. And I like making sure the woman I’m with is enjoying herself above all else.” His gaze dropped briefly to my mouth before returning to my eyes, suddenly heated. “That’s about as complicated as I get.”

My skin flushed. Every inch of it. Wow. Learning what pleases? Seriously, was he trying to kill me? Why did he have to have such a dizzying way with words? I swallowed down the lump in my throat, pushed back images of Tristan on a bed, very little clothing … Okay, I needed to stop.

Quit imagining your boss naked and explain yourself, Erin.

“It is partly because of Zach, yes,” I said at last, “but it’s also something I decided for myself for personal reasons that I don’t really want to get into right now.”

The heat subsided, and he looked, well, a little crestfallen, to be honest. His eyebrows drew together, like he was thinking deeply, then his gaze lifted, a little more hopeful, “We could still have dinner and spend time together, couldn’t we? There would be no expectation of anything more. I just want to get to know you.”

“That’s very sweet of you to offer, but I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to you, to either of us, when ultimately, I’m committed to being alone.”