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She considers that. “So, I can be scared and still go back to school?”

“You can,” I assure her.

“And dance class?”

“Yes.”

She leans her head against my shoulder. “But I don't have to decide today.”

“Nope.”

“Or tomorrow?”

I laugh softly. “You don't have to decide tomorrow either.”

Her shoulders relax, and some of the worry she's been holding finally seems to let go. Seeing that feels like a victory all by itself.

She wraps both arms around my waist and hugs me tightly.

I hug her back, emotion clogging my throat as I hold her. Lord help me, I already love this child. Not because she's Alexei's daughter. Because she's Ivy. Funny, stubborn, sweet, and brave.

Dinner comes and goes in a whirl of conversation, homework, and Winston begging shamelessly for scraps, but Alexei still hasn't come home. He texted earlier to say a meeting ran late. Part of me is relieved. The rest of me isn't because as long as he's gone, I'm left alone with my thoughts, and lately that hasn't exactly been a pleasant place to be.

Eventually, Agatha offers to help Ivy get ready for bed while I take a shower. Ivy agrees, but only after making me promise I'll still come read to her afterward.

I carry my purse into the guest suite and set it on the bed. I’m finally alone. My pulse starts racing.

“Well, here goes nothin’,” I mutter to myself.

I grab the bag before I can lose my nerve and carry it into the bathroom. The door clicks shut behind me, and I lock it. I stare at my reflection in the mirror and seriously consider walking right back out. Maybe tomorrow. Or the next day. Or after I’ve had more time to think. Then I laugh at myself as if more time has ever made anything easier.

I open the box, read the instructions twice, then read them again because apparently panic has damaged my reading comprehension. Several minutes later, the test rests on the bathroom counter while I pace across the room, trying not to stare at it.

The minutes crawl by. I sit. Stand again. Check the clock. Pace another lap. Sit.

Every possible future seems determined to parade through my head at once. A baby. Alexei. Ivy. The threats. The danger. The shelter. The possibility of bringing a child into a world that currently feels uncertain in ways I never imagined.

Finally, I can't take it anymore. I look. Two pink lines stare back at me.

Positive.

The answer is right there, simple and impossible all at once. My breath leaves in a rush while I stare at the test sitting on the counter, and suddenly, the room feels strangely distant. Like my mind is struggling to catch up to what my eyes already know.

I'm pregnant.

Tears fill my eyes before I even realize they're coming.

A baby.

Mine and Alexei's.

The truth hits me hard enough that I that I brace both hands against the sink. Joy rushes in first, swift and overwhelming, with fear right behind it. I can't separate the two. I'm excited. Terrified. Hopeful. Completely overwhelmed. An hour ago, my future felt complicated. Now it feels bigger than I know what to do with.

My legs finally give out. I slide down the side of the vanity until I'm sitting on the bathroom floor with the positive test still resting on the counter above me.

Tears spill down my cheeks before I can stop them. Not because I'm unhappy and not because I regret any part of this, but because every emotion I possess seems to arrive at once. Everything collides together until I can't tell where one feeling ends and another begins.

I reach for my phone. Right now, I need my best friend.