Page 53

I feel a flash of disappointment that this place has enough rooms and beds that no one has to share. There’s nothing to force us together tonight, but maybe that’s for the best.

“Goodnight,” Ares says. His voice is soft, and his gaze lingers on mine before he finally walks off down the hall to claim a room.

Tate flashes me a smile before he follows, and Callan—unsurprisingly—doesn’t meet my eyes. I wait until they leave to turn the lights off and go take the last bedroom for myself.

22

BRYNN

In the morning, I wake up with a dry mouth and a slight headache. As hangovers go, I’ve had worse, but my mind is already racing. I lie there, replaying the conversation with Ares over and over again in my head.

Of all the things I could have imagined happening back then, being sabotaged by someone else was not on the list. I can’t believe Genevieve went so far out of her way to tear us apart. I always knew she was jealous and wanted Ares for herself, but I never thought she’d steal my diary and then use the information to ruin us. She must have come up with the plan to break us up as soon as she read what I wrote about Ares. With the constant drama between our families, all she really had to do was make Ares doubt me. His family took care of the rest.

When I think about it, I’m still hurt that Ares didn’t take me at my word when I told him I didn’t have anything to do with it. I understand why he believed the lie though. That kind of evidence seemed irrefutable. I can’t say I wouldn’t have fallen for it at first if the shoe was on the other foot.

Ares left for college basically right after the fight, so there wasn’t really any time for us to hash things out more. We went our separate ways, and things were just allowed to fester. We’ve both been carrying around all the hurt and resentment for years.

The question I guess is what this means for us now. What does it mean for all the stuff that’s happened between me and Tate on this trip? How do we move forward from this, and is there even anywhere for us to go?

My mind is working overtime, turning all of this over on a loop. It’s too early and my head hurts too much for all this thinking, so I throw the covers back, shivering a little at the cool air that rushes in.

I get dressed and run a brush through my hair before stepping out into the hallway to hear voices.

Tate, Ares, and Callan are already awake, sitting in the kitchen looking out the window.

“After this, I don’t think I ever want to see fucking snow again,” Tate groans. “This is ridiculous.”

“This is what it’s like this time of year,” Ares says. “We were just already supposed to be here before it happened.”

“Take me back to the South,” Callan mutters. “Where this kind of snow is a record event and not just a fucking Tuesday.”

I walk into the kitchen and see what they mean. Outside is covered in a blanket of snow. The car is piled high, and the driveway may as well not even exist anymore for all we can see it.

I pull out my phone to check the weather report and see that the roads nearby haven’t been plowed because they’re predicting even more snow over the next few hours.

“This is crazy,” I murmur, peering out into the blinding white.

“How is it this damned hard to get to one stupid town?” Ares groans. He rubs at his face. “It’s like the powers that be don’t want us to get there.”

This is really the last thing I needed on top of everything else. I wasn’t prepared to be on the road for so long. I was supposed to be back at my parents’ house, where they keep toiletries and stuff in stock for when their adult kids come to visit.

I packed enough underwear for the trip and a few basic toiletries, but I’m almost out of shampoo because I didn’t plan to need it for so long. I wasn’t going to use the hotel stuff on my hair, since I couldn’t trust what it would do to it, and the thought of showering today without it makes my skin crawl.

I guess I could not shower, but I don’t feel clean after being in a car for so long and all the things Ares and I did in that bathroom. Ordinarily, I would never do something like that in a bathroom of all places, but I got caught up in the moment.

Just thinking about it now makes me itch with the need to shower it all off. But I can’t shower without washing my hair or it won’t be complete. I can’t not shower because I don’t feel clean. And I don’t have enough shampoo to get through another full wash. Let alone if we have to stay here for a couple more days.

I try to breathe through the spiral, to remind myself that it’s not the end of the world if I don’t shower or wash my hair. I try to do all the coping mechanisms I’ve developed, thinking of all the things that would be so much worse than having slightly greasy hair for a day or two.

But it doesn’t really work.

There’s too much going on in my head right now, and as hard as I try to hold on to the rational thoughts, they keep slipping away.

Everything is uncertain and unsure and up in the air, and I don’t know how to feel grounded and put together when I don’t have anything to hold on to right now.

If I went and got my shampoo, that would at least be a place to start. It would at least be one thing that I wouldn’t have to obsess over right now.

I can’t let it go. Even when Tate starts making coffee and Callan and Ares start discussing logistics of staying here for another night at least.