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It’s easier if I keep my distance and keep my guard up.

I pull away from him, turning around to finish adjusting my clothes. A glance in the mirror tells me it’s as good as it’s going to get, and I take a breath. “We should go back out there. We need to get back on the road,” I say without turning around.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

I open the door and we head back out to rejoin the others. As much as I don’t want to think about it, I can’t deny that something has shifted between us.

I just don’t know yet if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

19

BRYNN

When we get back to the others, Tate and Callan both look up at us with concern on their faces. Even Callan looks like he was concerned about me, which takes me by surprise.

“Are you okay?” Tate asks, looking between me and Ares.

“I’m fine,” I say on autopilot. It’s the answer I always give when someone catches me at the beginning or the tail end of a spiral, because I never really want to get into it. I don’t want to admit that there’s something wrong with me that will make them look at me differently. It’s embarrassing, and I hate the pity that goes along with having to talk about it.

But… what happened with Ares affected me, and I can’t pretend it didn’t. He’s the person who has the most reason to hate me in his mind, and he was gentle and kind about it. Tate has been nothing but good to me, and Callan… I don’t know what to think about Callan. We still have a ways to go until we can all part ways, and maybe it’s okay for me to open up to them a bit about what’s going on with me.

So I take a breath and start talking. “Actually, I wasn’t fine before, but I am now. I was struggling a little.”

“What happened?” Tate wants to know. “Was it the food or the atmosphere?” He casts a look back at the table where the truckers were sitting, now empty but littered with plates and dirty napkins.

“I guess neither one of those things helped,” I admit. “So the thing is I have OCD. I don’t like making a big deal out of it, and I don’t want anyone to treat me any differently. But this whole trip has kind of been a nightmare for dealing with it. It makes things difficult, as you can imagine.”

Tate looks like he doesn’t know what to say, but at least he doesn’t look judgy or anything. I’ll take that.

Callan speaks up though. “I noticed some things, and I wondered,” he says quietly.

I can feel my face starting to burn with embarrassment, but then he keeps talking. “Just little things. One of the people I tattoo a lot has OCD, and he has his little rituals that let him get through a session without spiraling, so I wondered if you were keeping yourself grounded like he does.” He shrugs. “That’s all. A lot of people have things they do to make themselves feel more comfortable in stressful situations. OCD is just another part of life.”

He says it matter-of-factly, without pity. It’s surprising that he knows so much about it, and even more surprising that he’s being so open about it. And I guess at least I know whatever his issue with me is, it doesn’t have anything to do with that. So that’s something at least.

By the time Callan is done talking, Tate has recovered himself. He offers me a smile that’s just this side of flirtatious, but still genuine. “You know, sharing is sexy. I appreciate that you trust us enough to be open. It’ll be even harder to keep my hands off you now.” He winks at me, and that makes me laugh.

We pay our check and head out, and after everything that happened, I feel lighter than I have in a while. I feel better.

As we head out to the parking lot to get back in the car, Tate takes my hand. He brings it to his lips and brushes a kiss across my knuckles. My first instinct is to blush at the gesture, but then I notice Ares and Callan watching, and my heart flutters a bit in my chest.

I don’t know how this is happening.

I’m still sore from where Ares just fucked me in the bathroom, and now Tate is kissing my hand. I know Tate doesn’t want anything serious, but he’s being pretty open about the fact that even with everything with Ares and now knowing about my OCD, he definitely still wants me.

Tate and Ares share a look, a moment of unspoken communication. I don’t know what it means, but unless I’m reading things wrong, there’s definitely a hint of tension between them.

Callan has a hard expression on his face, and it’s such a contrast from the soft way he was talking to me inside the diner that it makes me wince. I guess even though he was kind about my OCD, he still really doesn’t like me. He probably thinks I’m going to fuck things up between his friends, and honestly… maybe he’s not wrong.

Ares and Tate clearly haven’t talked about what’s going on, and they both have to know that the other one has fucked me within the last few days. Tate said he doesn’t care what’s going on with me and Ares, but Ares definitely cares about me and Tate.

Is it possible that I’m doing this just to get back at Ares? Sleeping with his best friend is classic revenge behavior, after all. But when I think about it, I know that’s not what’s going on here.

That’s not what it’s about.

I never meant for it to happen, but I can’t deny that I’m drawn to both of them. They’re very different people, but they’re both alluring and interesting and handsome in their own ways. The thing with Ares is years in the making, and Tate came into my life when I needed him and has been a balm to my fraying nerves ever since.

In the privacy of my own head, I’ll even admit that it’s not just Tate and Ares I’m attracted to. Callan has been cold and closed off for the most part since I met him, but he’s tall and muscular and covered in tattoos. I don’t think anyone can blame me for being interested.