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They had intended to use them as warships, but if peace was on the table, other uses had already been imagined. “They would be more effective as trading vessels. But, we cannot promise that the air mages will not demand we use them for their intended purpose.”
“Is there any way you can make Sister Themeal see reason?” I asked.
“If Mother was here, it might have been different. I think Sister Themeal respects her more than me. I can put as much pressure as our nascent alliance allows, but I believe it will be up to you to prove to her that pushing the Imperium into war will not benefit Ristorium,” my sister said. “She does not believe that you have the power of the animalia. Even looking at you now, I can see something different in you. In the north, we have seen evidence of the return of Sea Serpent. Mother was visited by Owl. But the fairies of Ristorium refuse to believe it is anything more than a trick. They felt particularly betrayed by the animalia’s absence.”
I looked out at the night sky, moon hanging heavy. “Then I shall prove to Sister Themeal why making an enemy of me is not something she should seek out.”
Forty-Three
Returning to Tallu was difficult. I braced myself in front of his door, ignoring the looks his Dogs gave me. Although their expressions were hidden by their masks, I knew that they worried over me and Tallu.
Inside our room, Tallu sat on one of the couches, going over documents, his eyes tracing the same line over and over again. Servants were stationed around the room, ready for his slightest whim, but they were as effective as statues against the curse. I had already healed him twice today, but I could see how gaunt he was getting, the shadows beneath his cheekbones, the bloody handkerchief he had tucked in his sleeve, as though I wouldn’t notice it.
“Were you able to speak with your sister?” Tallu asked.
I nodded, feeling amazed and grateful all over again that my sister was here. That despite how much I had changed, she recognized me as myself. I was still her brother, no matter how much I had changed, no matter how much loving Tallu had changed me.
“Leave us,” Tallu said, dismissing the servants. They closed the door behind themselves, and I remembered when we had kept all of our secrets in the bedroom, hiding them behind the illusion that the emperor was infatuated with me.
Now, nearly two years since our marriage, his expectation of privacy was becoming more and more standard protocol. Servants did not even blink at being told to abandon their posts. Despite Sagam’s warnings, even the Dogs were standing outside.
“You need me to heal you.” I didn’t waste any time, standing and putting my hands on his shoulders. He sighed, the exhaustion clear on his face even as he raised a hand.
“Wait,” he said.
I frowned, unwilling to, but he shook his head, holding up his hand again.
“Wait,” Tallu repeated. “I am your husband. Not some child you need to watch over. Can you not treat me as that anymore?”
I stared at him, feeling my jaw clench, an anger I could not express choking me. Finally, I nodded and lowered my hands, sitting next to him on the couch. I had to clench my fists together to prevent myself from healing him in spite of whatever he said.
“What did your sister and father say?” Tallu asked.
“The north will accept our terms,” I said. “Enough of the clans will be simply happy to avoid continued war. The air mages are the ones we need to be worried about.”
Tallu frowned, and I read the question in the twitch of his eyebrow.
“I am going to go to Sister Themeal tonight to show her my powers.” I kept my voice even, not even allowing myself to question the decision.
“What do you mean?” Tallu asked.
“Ristorium plans to use the airships they worked on with my mother for war. I will show her that, if she attacks you, she will lose,” I said. “Even if that means destroying one of the airships myself.”
Tallu’s eyebrows went up, and his expression tightened. “If you do that, we may have to go to war with Ristorium and the north again. Even your mother would not be able to ignore such provocation.”
I tightened my fists until my nails bit into my palm. “It is a particular hue of pain, a particular flavor of agony, to watch you withering in front of me. We continue to say soon, as though you and Hallu have infinite time. You do not. I refuse to let Ristorium’s warmongering get in the way of your survival.”
I was breathing harshly, the words practically spat out. Tallu reached out, clasping my cheeks between his palms. He turned my face to his. “Do you think I like this feeling any more than you do? But I will survive it. I will survive it so you do not become a monster. I am not my father. Nor my grandfather or my great-grandfather. I will not let you turn yourself into something terrible just because of my pain. I will bear it. I will keep breathing until we have achieved peace. Do not do this for my sake. It is not what I want.”
“And what of what I want?” I demanded. I stood, retreating from him, feeling the ocean of power beneath my skin.
In all of the stories of the One Dragon, there were none where she took a lover. All of her children were fatherless. Perhaps because the idea of it was too terrible. With infinite power, to protect a lover, she could turn the oceans to desert, turn the forests to kindling.
What would I do with that infinite power to protect the man I had devoted my life to?
“If you want to use your power for war, we can.” Tallu’s words were measured, calm. “Do you think that I have not thought through the strategy for using you to bring down the islands of Ristorium? To crash through the walls of the Silver City? Do you not think we could wipe the dwarves off our maps and take their gems and jewels for ourselves?”
Tallu stood, striding into the back room where he had once stored the airship model. We usually reserved it for storing documents and possessions too precious to lose now. He pulled out maps and papers, throwing them on the table in front of me.