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I roll my eyes at the thought.

It’s all about strategic positioning, Duchess agrees, sitting squarely on the other side.

Ella is clapping her hands and laughing at everything she sees, which is her default state of being and also makes every single outing with her take twice as long because she needs to appreciate every skeleton, every pumpkin, and every person in a costume.

I’m sort of the same way, so I really can’t blame her. I can’t help it. I’ve got a natural desire to snoop. It’s what makes me tick. It’s also what’s solved an entire string of homicides that have befallen my cozy inn as of late.

“Bizzy!”

I look up and spot Mom and Georgie emerging from Two Old Broads, their shop directly across the street from Lather and Light. The shop sells knickknacks and what they call “wonky quilts,” which are wildly sewn quilts in holiday patterns and themes that come in every possible iteration you can imagine and several you can’t. We’re talking traditional quilts, throw pillows, backpacks, tote bags, and, yes, toilet paper covers. Because apparently there’s a market for Halloween-themed toilet paper cozies shaped like pumpkins, and Mom and Georgie have cornered it. I’ll admit, I bought one and it’s pretty darn festive.

Their current window display features Halloween wonky quilts with crooked pumpkins and lopsided ghosts that look like they were sewn by someone who’d had three glasses of wine and thought quilting sounded like a great idea.

Mom and Georgie are both in costume, because, well, it’s October and they’ve needed lesser reasons to parade around as someone else. Mom has upgraded her horror hostess look from last night and now has a cape that’s at least six feet long and keeps getting caught on door handles and small children.

Georgie is wearing something even more outrageous than what she wore to the panel, which I didn’t think was physically possible, but clearly I underestimated her commitment to the aesthetic. Her corset is now black and red with actual chains hanging off it, her bat-laden wig has grown approximately four inches and is now teased to heights that defy gravity, she’s got platform boots, and she’s carrying a wonky quilt tote bag shaped like a bat that’s flapping in the breeze.

“We’re on our way to support your sister’s candle empire!” Georgie announces, waving the bat bag at me like a mild threat.

“We’re going to make sure she doesn’t burn the town down,” Mom corrects, adjusting her cape before it strangles a passing pedestrian.

“Red, where’s your sense of adventure?”

“I left it in 1987 where it belongs.”

We fall into step together, heading toward Lather and Light, and Ella squeals and points at a skeleton decoration sitting in a nearby tree. The skeleton is wearing a top hat and holding a cane, which is a nice touch, and Ella thinks it’s the funniest thing she’s ever seen. She claps her hands and kicks her feet, which makes Duchess shift slightly to avoid getting booted in the face.

This street has more bones than that natural history museum we went to last week, Fish says with a sharp meow, giving the stink eye to all of the skeletons we meet along the way. Who buys their fifteenth skeleton and thinks, yes, this is the one that ties it all together?

Duchess cranes her neck to get a better gander. It seems hoomans enjoy celebrating the inevitability of death by covering it in glitter. I suppose that’s brave.

It’s a strange choice, Fish mewls. Just like their unstoppable desire to carve pumpkins with goofy smiles.

Sherlock’s ears stand at attention. Do those goofy smiling pumpkins have snacks inside of them?

No, Fish yowls.

Do ghosts have snacks inside of them? Sherlock looks both hopeful and hungry. I hope Georgie remembered to pack bacon, or else he might be moved to eat a candle.

No, Duchess mewls his way.

How about that cauldron in front of the hardware store? he asks with far too much hope at a giant plastic bin next to the sidewalk.

Fish leans up and peers inside. It’s filled with extension cords.

Are you sure? He gives a soft woof and a sniff as he makes his way over.

I’m positive, Fish says, because if there was any candy out unattended, you would’ve solved that mystery five minutes ago.

Sherlock lifts his furry head with pride. They don’t call me Sherlock Bones for nothing.

Georgie leans in, her wig tilting dangerously as the bats threaten to take flight. “Tell me there’s a hot vampire next up on the suspect list. I wore my good teeth today to impress him.”

“Georgie,” Mom laughs. “He’d be more interested in your good veins than your good teeth. In case you’re unaware, vampires prefer to do the biting.”

“And I prefer to do the smiling while they’re biting. What’s your point?”

I’m about to say something when we get a little closer to Lather and Light, and I stop walking because the crowd around the entrance is absolutely massive. There’s a line out the door that wraps clear around the corner, with women clutching cash and credit cards and shopping bags as if they can’t part with their money fast enough.