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“Fine. I’ll do it. But promise me you won’t do anything reckless.” She took a deep breath. “Just be careful.”

I nodded.

Did she really not know what Ryden was doing with the secrets she uncovered about men who hurt others? They had been working together for so long—long enough that even if she were a hermit, locked away in her own little world, she must have stumbled upon something, somewhere.

She must at least had an inkling of doubt.

Was she truly blind to it? Or was she choosing not to see anything?

“I won’t.”

“If you do, don’t get caught.” She stood up from the chair, giving me a half wave. “Take care of him. He does it for everyone.”

I had a feeling Reah knew about Ryden’s secret.

She was too smart not to.

“I will.”

That night, as I lay next to Ryden, I asked what I had been wanting to ask for so long. He could have looked for his father himself. He would have found him, too.

I mean, it was his job. Finding men who had escaped the law.

“Did you ever look for your father?”

He stiffened. My fingers grazed his jaw, and he relaxed under my touch.

“I shouldn’t be poking, but you know everything about me, Ryden, and I…”

“I did look for him, but I didn’t find him.” That was not the whole truth.

He didn’t look hard enough, because we both knew he would have found him if he tried harder.

“If you find him, what do you want to do? Do you want to forget he existed or make him regret everything he did, hurt him for everything he has taken from you?”

He hesitated.

“Do you want to hurt him?” I asked, studying his face. “Do you want to punish him like you punished Phil? Logan?”

Again, a pause. A long one.

Silence enveloped us. I waited.

“He took away the only good thing that had happened to me, to my mother. He stole it without any remorse.” Ryden grabbed my hand from his cheek and pressed it to his lips. “I want to kill him, Yara, but I’m scared that it would change me for the worse.” He closed his eyes. His breath was ragged, his heart violently fast. “I’m afraid it would alter me beyond fixing.”

“But what if it fixed the things he broke once? What then?”

“I don’t know.”

I understood him.

Yes, killing my father liberated me, but it also inevitably made me into this.

“If I ever find him, do you want me to tell you that or keep it a secret?”

“Tell me. TELL ME.”

“Do you want me to go looking for him?”