Page 116
‘I grew to really hate you, though.’
‘The feeling is mutual.’
He shook his head. ‘No. You’re upset, and you can’t believe this is happening, but you don’t hate me. Not the way I hate you. It’s a strange feeling, Mary. An intense disgust blended with a deep revulsion. At first I could get over it, but for the last couple of years it’s been a real problem. I mean, the whole thing was a massive mistake.’
‘Again, it’s mutual.’ Mary looked away.
‘Anyway, I had to get out of it,’ he said.
‘Is that why you did all this?’ Carl said. ‘To get rid of your wife?’
‘That’s a benefit,’ he said. ‘But not the real reason.’
‘So what is the reason?’ Carl said.
‘Allison,’ Ryan replied. ‘Haven’t you figured that out yet?’
‘What has she got to do with this?’ Carl said. ‘What has my wife—’
‘She was never your wife.’
‘She was,’ Carl said. ‘She was my wife. And I don’t understand how she can have anything to do with this.’
‘She has everything to do with this,’ Ryan said. ‘She is the reason any of it is happening at all.’
‘I don’t understand,’ Carl said. ‘She disappeared years ago. What—’
Ryan held up his hand to silence Carl. He sat on the corner of the bed and folded his arms, like a father about to read a bedtime story.
‘The reason I married Mary,’ he began. ‘Was because I could not have Allison.’
‘Because she was married to me.’
‘No. She had left you by then, and she was supposed to be with me. But I had miscalculated, and I lost her. So I had to settle for’ – he pointed at Mary – ‘second best. A distant second best, as it turned out.’
‘What do you mean, you’d miscalculated?’ Mary said. ‘Allison left Carl. What did you have to do with it? What calculations were you making?’
‘Well that’s the thing,’ Ryan said. ‘I was the reason she left him.’
‘You were having an affair with her?’ Carl glanced at Mary.
‘No!’ Ryan raised his voice. ‘She would never have done something like that. She was not the kind of person who had affairs. I found another way to separate her from you.’
Carl stared at him, his mouth half-open. ‘You did what?’
‘I showed her who you really were.’
‘I don’t understand,’ Carl said. ‘I don’t understand anything you’re saying.’
‘The affairs you were having? The prostitutes you were using?’
‘I wasn’t using prostitutes! Or having affairs!’
‘She had photos that suggested otherwise.’
‘From where?’
Ryan smiled. ‘From me, of course. What you need to understand is that I loved her. I’ve always loved her, ever since we were kids. We grew up in the same town; I was one year older than her, and we were meant to be together. She just didn’t realize it – she would have done, in time – but then she married you.’