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“Well, no,” Sampson conceded. “Of course, that wouldn’t be a lie.”

“So it’s easy enough. Show her that you really do care about the way she feels, and that you never intended to cause her any distress. You can say that much truthfully. And who knows? Hearing that might be enough to make her feel at ease with the situation.”

“I think that’s highly optimistic,” Sampson murmured. “It doesn’t seem likely to me that Amanda would set all this aside just because she found out I didn’t mean to upset her. You didn’t see her the night of the ball. She was really angry.” He sighed. “I thought she’d be angry because I was responsible for George’s death. That was my reason for not wanting to be honest with her about all this.”

“You’re not responsible for what happened to George,” Oliver said. “I’m not sure how many times you’re going to need me to tell you this.”

“Well, we just disagree,” Sampson replied. “Although it’s interesting—Amanda said the same thing. Even when she was angry at me, she didn’t hold me responsible for that.”

“Which ought to tell your something, if you’re willing to listen.”

“The only thing it tells me is that no one really understands what it was like the day we lost George,” Sampson said firmly. “People are determined to say that it wasn’t my fault—but you weren’t there, Oliver, and neither was Amanda. You don’t want to blame me. I do appreciate that. That doesn’t mean you’re correct not to.”

Oliver shook his head and drained his glass. “Do you know what I think? I think you like that she’s angry with you, Sampson. I think that’s the real reason you won’t apologize. You blame yourself so deeply for what happened to George that you can’t fathom feeling better about it until someone else blames you, too. It disturbs you that she heard the story you told her and that it didn’t cause her to say you were at fault for George’s death. You think she’s wrong somehow, that she’s foolish or misunderstanding the point, and that makes you feel even worse because you think you’ve misled her somehow. You think you’ve tricked her. So even though she’s angry at you for the wrong thing, you feel relieved right now, because at least she is angry, and that’s what you deserve. Am I close?”

He was too close. Far too close. It made Sampson uncomfortable and angry to be seen so clearly. “That isn’t right at all,” he denied.

“All right.” Oliver smiled in a way that let Sampson know he wasn’t fooling anybody. “If I’m wrong, then simply apologize to her, and help her let go of the anger she feels. Tell her that you never meant to deceive her, or to pull her into a marriage she didn’t want. Tell her that if she’s unhappy with her situation, you’ll set her free. That she’s more than welcome to leave.”

“I…” Sampson’s throat closed.

“Do you think she would do it?” Oliver pressed him.

Sampson shook his head. He was pretty sure it was true. Amanda wouldn’t go, not while she had Rose to think of. She knew that her home with Sampson was the best option available to her, even if she was having a hard time accepting the way she had received it.

But what if she did decide to leave? He thought of the empty house he had lived in before his marriage. He’d thought he was happy living like that, but the memory of the crushing quiet suddenly made him feel exhausted. How could he go back to a life that had no other people in it, apart from his staff? He would lose the sound of Rose’s laughter in the halls, and Amanda…

Even coming upon her while she was angry with him brightened his day. He was always happier after he saw her. He didn’t want to risk losing that.

“I can’t make that offer,” he said, his voice tight. “I can’t tell her that she can go.”

“She must be aware that she could if she really wanted to,” Oliver pointed out.

“But saying it aloud…it would seem as though that was what I wanted.”

“And you would worry that you were putting the idea in her head?”

Yes. I would worry about that.

“I understand what’s happening, you know,” Oliver said quietly. “It’s not a crime to be in love with your wife, Sampson.”

“I’m not.” Sampson could hardly get the words out.

“You’re about to fall apart at the mere thought of her leaving you. She hasn’t even indicated that it’s something she would want, and yet you can hardly stand it. This is the thing you ought to tell her, you know. You should let her know that you want her to stay no matter what, and that you want to be sure to work out the differences between the two of you, because you care for her so much. You should make her aware of your feelings, so that she would truly want to stay. That’s the best thing you could do now, Sampson.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

“But why not? She was upset with you because she felt lied to, and this would be telling more truth than you may have ever told in your life. It’s the perfect antidote to what she sees as your crime against her. Let her know that you love her. It’s really that simple.”

“There isn’t anything simple about such things,” Sampson snapped. He picked up his glass and downed it in a single swallow before continuing. “For me to make this marriage about me, about my feelings and what I might stand to gain, would be the ultimate act of selfishness. It would be treating Amanda exactly the way my father treated my mother—as though she existed only for the purposes of what she could offer me.”

“Now, wait a moment,” Oliver said, frowning. “Are you trying to say that you can’t love your wife because it would be selfish to do so?”

“Of course, it would be,” Sampson said. “That would be making this marriage about what I want, and when I entered into this, I promised myself—and her—that it would be all about providing for what she wants. That’s the only way I can hope to atone for what happened to George. I mean, think about it. If I do what you’re suggesting, then I didn’t come home and see to his affairs at all. Instead, I came home and took the wife of the man who died for me. It’s the most selfish thing imaginable. What do you think he would say if he could see such a thing?”

“He would be happy,” Oliver said firmly. “You were his closest friend, weren't you? He would want you to have a good life. And you may think I’m a fool to say it, but I think he would rather know that you and Amanda were genuinely in love and happy together than to think you were only tending to her needs out of some sense of obligation. He would have liked the idea that you truly cared for her. You can offer that.”

Sampson sighed and shook his head. “You don’t understand,” he murmured. “Maybe no one can ever understand.”