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He tipped my chin up and gazed into my eyes. “Vos and Calla both have said they don’t hold this against us. I don’t think they would say so if they didn’t mean it, especially Vos. He doesn’t strike me as the sort of male who spares the feelings of others.”
I couldn’t disagree with his assessment, but my guilt remained. “If Calla had been hurt—”
He kissed my forehead. “But she wasn’t because she is a formidable warrior. All three of you—and even Zwee—fought well as a team. I wish I’d been able to do more than just stagger around for most of it.”
“Hey.” I poked his hard stomach. “You came into the fight just when I needed you most.” I scowled. “Although I will say that I wanted to kill Sjer for hurting you twice, first by shooting you in the back on Ghira Station, and then today with that damn disruptor.”
“And I wanted him dead by my sword for shooting you and for what he’s done to our ship.” He grinned. “You put two holes in him, I finished the job, and Zwee took a few bites for herself. I consider the debt settled on all our accounts.” He nuzzled my hair. “Forgive yourself, my love. Calla and Vos already have.”
Everything he said made sense, and Calla had told me in no uncertain terms—multiple times—that I shouldn’t blame myself for anything that had befallen us. But when it came to my sister, letting go of that guilt and forgiving myself was much easier said than done.
We sat quietly until Calla and Vos rejoined us. Vos remained at the bottom of the ramp, keeping an eye out for predators or other dangers, while Calla plunked herself down on my other side.
“I heard you have a rescue coming in two days,” she said, leaning back on her hands and staring out at the sea.
“Yes.” I plucked at one of the many tears in my jumpsuit. I needed to change, but I’d run out of energy after getting my wounds treated and cleaning out the cargo bay. “I’m glad I keep multiple backups of Siber’s systems and all my files, so I won’t lose anything that’s truly important. But I don’t know how long it will take to get the ship running again. Everything aboard is…” I waved my hand at the dark and smoky interior of the ship. “Fried.”
“Stay here while the ship gets fixed,” Calla said suddenly.
I jerked. “What?”
“You don’t have to actually be there on Trakhan during the repairs, right?” She turned to face me. “So stay here. Let your friend Byx tow the ship to the outpost and send you updates. When it’s ready, you can arrange transportation to go get it.”
I swallowed hard. “Calla—”
“I want you here,” she said emphatically and grabbed my hand. “I want you to stay here with me, with us, while you get your ship fixed. Before you head back out there and it’s a long time until I see you again.” The pleading in her gaze felt like a knife right to my heart.
Jarrix and I hadn’t even begun to work out the details of our plan to live here, but I couldn’t let my sister think I intended to disappear from her life as quickly as I’d reappeared into it.
“Jarrix and I have talked it over, and we want to make Iosa our home base,” I said before she could argue more.
She squealed and threw her arms around me. “Yes,” she crowed in my ear, making me wince. “Oh, Keela, I’m so happy! We’ll find you homestead near ours where you can put a capsule home, and I’m sure there’s somewhere in the city you can dock the Nivilus between runs, and you can get a flyer like ours to go back and forth to the dock, and—”
I hugged her back. “So I’m forgiven for this?” I said softly.
She drew back and frowned at me. “There is nothing to forgive. Because of you, I got to kill some pirates today who were trying to hurt you and Jarrix. Do you know how long it’s been since I got to kill pirates?”
“About a year?” I guessed with a smile.
“About a year,” she confirmed. “And nothing I did for the Alliance Defense felt anywhere near as good as killing these scuts.” She grinned in a way that reminded me of Vos’s toothy smile. “It was so satisfying. That Captain Sjer was a lying asshole.”
“You have no idea,” Jarrix muttered.
I squared my shoulders. “Okay, let’s say we decide to stay here while our ship is dry-docked for repairs. We can’t live on your sofa. We’ll have to look for that homestead and a capsule home right away.”
“Already started looking as of this morning,” my mate said, lacing our fingers together. “And Vos told me where we can purchase a flyer.”
My heart warmed. It felt good to be building a life together. And not just a life together with Jarrix, but with my sister and her mate on a moon I could imagine thinking of as my new homeworld.
“Also…” Calla squeezed my other hand, her expression suddenly serious. “I have an idea for what we can do with Leomer.”
The reminder of that silver orb sobered me. “What are you thinking?”
She gestured at the ocean. “Vos and I think about the sea as a place that washes things clean. There’s a story behind that and I’ll tell you all about it later, but maybe scattering Leomer’s remains in the ocean will cleanse us…and maybe him too.” Her gaze searched my face. “Unless you’d like to do something else, like leave him on Forval IX or eject his remains into space where my ship was supposedly destroyed, like he suggested.”
We gazed out at the endless waves of the lavender sea.
“I like your idea,” I said finally. “Ganai is a dirty, dusty nightmare. Saistea is a rotting city. And from everything I’ve read and seen, Forval IX is a hellscape. I don’t know what Leomer deserves, but maybe it’s to be someplace beautiful for once.”