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“Ach, they were on and off for years. They’d have some almighty row, and she’d chuck him out, sometimes for months. She’d swear that was it. Then I’d come home and there he’d be, sitting on the couch.”

“That must have been awful.”

“Aye, well. I was fourteen when Niamh took me along to Davie’s gym. Best thing that ever happened to me. I threw everything I had into it. Got bigger, harder to push about. Shug didnae like that much.”

Briony doesn’t interrupt, just keeps working beside me, so I go on.

“Then, when I was sixteen, we had a fight. A proper one.” I touch the bend in my nose with the back of my wrist. “First time I broke this.”

Briony inhales sharply. “God.”

I finally meet her gaze. Her big blue eyes have gone glassy, but there’s something fierce in them too, like she’d go back and take him on herself if she could.

“He came off worse,” I say. “Davie told me to pack a bag and come and stay wi’ them for a bit, so I did. Never moved back in wi’ my maw. Got my own place after a while.”

She slips her arms round my waist and hugs me, her cheek pressing against my shoulder. I drop the weeder and wrap my arms around her, mucky hands and all.

“Is Shug still around?” she asks.

“I think she did eventually get rid of him.” I look over her head at Penny, who’s sprawled on the grass, gnawing at a battered rubber ball. “But who knows. When it comes to my maw, nothing would surprise me.”

Briony loosens her hold enough to look at me, though she keeps her hands round my waist. “I know it’s absolutely not my place. And you know her, I don’t. But people do sometimes change. Maybe she really has cleaned up her act.”

“Maybe.” It comes out flat. “But even so, I’m no sure I want to see her.”

“And that’s fair. I just wonder if it could help you, Ryan. Give you a chance to say some of the things you couldn’t say when you were wee. Things you didn’t have the words for back then.”

I look down at where our knees are touching.

There are things I could say. Plenty. But I can’t picture sitting opposite my maw and getting through them. And honestly, at this point, I’m not even sure I really know the woman. It’s been too many years, and she wasn’t lucid a lot of the time I was young anyway. Even if she didn’t let me down again, the idea of meeting her just feels…strange.

Fuck. One text, and she’s taken over my evening. At least I’m not thinking about Cruz–Vale II, I suppose.

“Forget I suggested it,” Briony says. “But if you ever want to talk, I’m here.”

“Aye, I know.”

She gives me a squeeze. There’s soil on my T-shirt where she’s held me, and a smear of it on her cheek. I wipe it away with the cleanest bit of my hand.

“Thanks.”

She presses her lips to mine briefly then eases back beside me, and I pick up the weeder.

Something small with pink petals is growing at the edge of the patch I’ve been clearing. I nod at it. “That a weed or a flower, flower girl?”

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

BRIONY

Rain speckles the window of Coorie & Blether. Inside, Ryan, Penny, and I have the corner table.

A month ago, I’d have grabbed my latte from Jill and dashed straight back to the shop. Now, thanks to Ryan, I actually sit down and drink it. Often I have cake too. Today it’s coffee and walnut, and it’s very good.

Under the table, Penny has her nose buried in a puppuccino, licking the cup with tremendous concentration.

I take another forkful of cake. The sponge is soft and nutty, and the icing buttery with just a hint of bitterness from the coffee.

“Mum’s asked if we’d both like to come round for a meal on Sunday,” I say. “It’s Innes’s birthday. He wants to keep it low-key this year. Just family at the house for dinner and games.” This will be the first time Ryan has seen my family since Mum turned up in the back court to apologise. “I’d understand if you’d rather not come.”