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I smart like I’ve been slapped. This is how he greets me? After the message he sent me earlier? Isn’t it obvious why I’m here?
Despite his frosty demeanour, I force myself to stand tall and look him in the eye. It’s grief that’s making him behave like this—I have to remember that.
“I know you’re in pain, but . . .”
My words trail off because something catches my attention—a flicker of movement further inside the room.
A woman, half-hidden under the covers of Lewis’s bed, stares at me with wide eyes.
Suddenly it’s a struggle to breathe. My insides twisting, my knees weakening, I place a hand against the wall to support myself. “Lewis . . . what the fuck is going on?”
He glances over his shoulder then meets my gaze again. “Isn’t it obvious?”
My vision blurs. “But . . .”
“What’s the problem?” His voice is chillingly emotionless. “I broke things off with you. Besides, it’s not as if we were ever properly going out. It was casual. I only messaged you out of courtesy.”
I can’t believe this is happening. My legs feel like they’re about to give way beneath me. “So these last few years . . . I’ve just been your fuck buddy?”
“Isn’t that how you wanted it? So I didn’t interfere with your studies?”
His words cut through me like a knife. My maw thought she knew my da, only to discover he had a secret life. I, though, was sure I knew Lewis. I didn’t think him capable of a betrayal like this.
Tears spill down my cheeks. I don’t want him to see how much he’s humiliating me, but I can’t hold back my emotions. “How could you?”
He just shrugs—doesn’t even bother to answer my question with words. After twenty-one years of friendship, an indifferent shrug is all he offers as an explanation for why he’s tearing my heart apart.
I open my mouth to say more, but nothing comes. I can’t think what else to say. Unable to process this, I take a step back from him. Then, turning on my heel, I run away.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
LEWIS
Now
I pick up a smooth stone, feeling its weight in my hand before sending it skipping across the water. Four bounces. Not bad, but I used to be better. I’m out of practice—it’s been too many years since I last came here to while away time doing nothing in particular.
Half an hour ago, I was at the hotel, pacing around the office, humming and hawing over how to play things with Iona. I really wanted to nip across the road to see her, but I thought it might be weird to pounce on her the day after her split with Richard. Then again, I also thought it’d be weird not to acknowledge the split at all. I couldn’t make up my mind about what to do until the solution hit me, and I grabbed a piece of paper, scribbled a message on it, and stuck it to my bedroom window: Fancy a chat? Meet at our old place?
Just like hanging out at the loch, leaving messages in my window is something I haven’t done in a long time. This way, though, if she wants to speak to me, she knows where to find me. And if she doesn’t want to speak to me . . . well, she doesn’t have to show up. I’ve no idea if she’ll come or not.
With a flick of my wrist, I send another stone sailing across the water. Three bounces—that’s worse! Maybe it’s not my technique that’s at fault. I’m possibly not picking the right stones. Okay, this time I’ll find a really good one, then I won’t have any excuses.
I’m lost in my search when footsteps crunch on the pebbles. I look up, and my heart does a wee flip. It’s Iona. Blonde strands have escaped her bun and blow across her face in the light breeze. God, she’s beautiful, even in a cosy oversized knit sweater and a pair of well-worn jeans. She doesn’t say anything as she approaches, just offers a tentative smile. My chest tightens with both hope and uncertainty.
“Hi.” I consider hugging her then think better of it—that would probably be too much. Instead I sit on a patch of grass and pat the ground beside me. “Fancy chilling here for a while? For old time’s sake?”
She glances at the tree. “What happened to the swing?”
“Oh, that went years ago.”
She nods and tucks a few stray strands of hair behind her ear. “That’s a shame. Kids always had fun with it, and today’s teenagers could really do with a place to come when they need to escape everyone for a while. We liked coming here.”
“Aye, we did.” I make a mental note to get a new swing and put it up asap. Why didn’t I think of that before? That might have impressed her.
She sits, leaving a bit of space between me and her, more than she would have when we were teenagers. She looks out to the loch, which glistens in the afternoon light. “A lot has happened since you and I last came here.”
“It really has.” I watch the loch too, my eyes following a few gentle waves until they break against the shore. “Remember when Bannock and the countryside around it were our entire world? Things were . . . simpler then. Life became more complicated when you went off to Glasgow.”