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“Why do you always call Lewis your baby?” Jamie questions. “He’s not the youngest—Cat is. He’s not even the youngest boy—that’s me.”

“Aye, but just look at him.” Maw cups my face in her hands and gives it a squeeze. “Butter wouldn’t melt. When you were children, unlike the rest of you, Lewis never wriggled out of a hug or protested about being kissed. Even now . . .” She gives my cheek a peck. “See? He lets me do it. Would you, Jamie, without some cheeky comment? Or Ally without a grumble? Or Cat without a moody teenage tantrum? No. But Lewis? Always. He may be the second oldest, but he’s the only one who still lets me fuss over him.”

Jamie tuts and shakes his head. “Mate,” he says to me, “your relationship with Maw is so unhealthy. And Maw, are you forgetting he’s supposed to be ill? Actually, don’t worry about that—I don’t think you can catch being super horny for Iona.”

I thump Jamie’s arm for that, and he grins, rubbing it.

“Shoo! Off you go, both of you!” Maw waves Da and Jamie away then comes into my room with me and closes the door behind her. She feels my forehead. “Hmm . . . no temperature. Maybe Jamie is right about your mysterious illness.”

“Maw!”

“Sorry, I know it’s nothing to do with me. I’m sure all those trips down to Glasgow are perfectly innocent. No doubt you and Iona just meet up for coffee and cake.” The sparkle in her eyes suggests she doesn’t believe that for a second. “For what it’s worth, though, the idea of you and Iona being an item warms my heart.” She places a hand on her chest. “I’ve waited and waited and waited for you to tell me, ‘Maw, I’ve got something to admit: Iona and I have been seeing each other for a few years.’ But the confession never comes! How much longer before you finally spill the beans?”

“Jesus, Maw, you’re as bad as Jamie tonight. There’s no confession to be made, so—”

“She’s my best friend’s daughter, and you’ve known each other since you were babies. It’s perfect!” She’s not listening to me.

“Well, Da and Jamie are waiting for you, so it’s time for you to go.” I guide her towards my door.

“Okay, I’ll leave you alone, but promise me one thing. You do use protection, don’t you?”

“Aye, of c—” I catch myself, but it’s too late. Shit. I was in such a hurry to get her out, I said that without thinking.

Maw giggles delightedly. “I knew it! I knew it!” She does a little dance. “This is the best news ever. You know, when you were very wee, Ally and Aidan often shared a bath, but so did you and Iona. You’d splash about, giggling away, naked and utterly shameless. And now you’ve graduated from bath-time buddies to bedroom buddies!”

“Oh my God, Maw, just stop talking! Why would you even say that? That’s so weird! Here’s my door, so if you could just—”

“Wait till Elspeth and I have a chat about this. Oh! She’s going to be as delighted as I am.”

“So I can’t trust you to hold your tongue, then? Keep the secret? No?”

“Well, I need to talk about it with someone. Would you rather I natter about it with your da and Jamie on the drive to Inverness?”

“No! Under no circumstances may you tell Jamie. I’d never hear the end of it.”

“In which case, Elspeth and I will have a wee chat tomorrow.” Maw rubs her hands together. “I can’t wait! She’s going to be over the moon. My darling boy and her gorgeous girl!”

I scratch behind my ear. This is a disaster. “Aye, well, Iona wanted to keep things casual, okay? She’s focusing on her studies. You know what Elspeth is like—she’ll be as excited about this as you are. Then she’ll start chatting about it with Iona, and then I’ll get it in the neck for letting it slip.”

Maw considers this. “Hmm. I can certainly ask Elspeth to keep it to herself, but . . . you’re right. She probably won’t.”

I sigh. “Great. Well, I suppose I’ll have to warn Iona. At least we managed to keep it a secret for a few years, eh?”

“So secret that Jamie was making a joke about it just five minutes ago.” Maw grabs my face again and kisses my cheek. “Anyway, you’ve made me so happy. My baby—all grown up!”

“Jamie’s right: maybe the baby stuff is a bit weird.”

“Och, wheesht! You’ll always be my baby, Lewis.” She plants a kiss on my other cheek. “Right, well, I’ll leave you to your night of . . . lying about in your room feeling under the weather.” She winks. “I’ll have a quick word with Ally and Cat before I go and tell them that you’re not well and should, under no circumstances, be disturbed.” A thought comes to her. “Is it hard sneaking Iona up here, or—”

“I’m not discussing any details with you, Maw. Please just go.”

“All right, my wonderful, handsome son. I’ll see you in the morning. Remember to get some sleep in between all the . . . you know . . .”

My cheeks blaze, and she laughs, a warm, melodious sound that fills the room. She’s getting a kick out of how embarrassed I’m getting. I couldn’t ask for a better mother—she really is incredible in every way—but she seems to think her motherly duty includes making her kids squirm.

Finally I get rid of her, and I wait five minutes before padding down to reception and peeking into the restaurant. There are a good number of customers for a February evening. Cat is serving, and even though I can’t see Aidan, I know he’s helping Elspeth in the kitchen, stepping into my usual role. Next, I glance into the snug and spot Ally behind the bar, pulling a pint for a customer while chatting away to the man. I quickly retreat before he spots me.

Lately Ally and Aidan have been taking on odd jobs wherever they can—they’re planning to go travelling soon and see the world, so they’re keen for any extra cash. As for Cat, she was invited along to the casino night, but at seventeen she wouldn’t have been able to drink or gamble, so it wouldn’t have been much fun for her. Understandably, she chose to stay behind.