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“Understood.”

The cab pulls away before Mum can catch up. My phone rings—it’s her. I reject the call. She tries again, and then a third time. After that, I block her number. I just . . . need some space to think this over, and if I let Mum talk to me and explain why she did what she did, she’ll find a way of winning me around—she’s always been good with words. She’s been influencing my decision-making, and I hadn’t even realised. I have to free myself of that, at least until I can get back on track.

I need to speak to someone, though. David is understanding, but he has a special relationship with Mum and a tendency to overlook her wrongdoings. I try Emily instead, but it goes straight to voicemail. I give her a few shots, but I get her prerecorded message every time, so I ask her to call me then ring David despite my reservations. But . . . his phone also goes to voicemail.

I sniffle. I need them. Why can’t I get through to them?

“Are you okay back there?” The driver glances at me in the rear-view mirror.

“Yes, thanks.” I wipe at my eyes. “It’s just . . . been a bad day.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Have you made up your mind where you’re going?”

“Er, I’ll get back to you on that.”

“That’s fine, but just so you’re aware, the meter is running.”

“I know.”

I open my contacts list and immediately see Aidan’s name at the top. I hesitate. He’s the person I really need to speak to, and yet . . . I doubt a call is enough to sort this.

For the last few weeks, I’ve been trying to forget all the great things about Aidan and to convince myself that staying in London is the right decision. Now, though, I can’t hold back the memories—they come to me unbidden.

The way he carried me through the woods when I went over my ankle. The themed video calls he organised to get to know me better. The cullen skink he prepared, surprising me with his culinary skills. And the fancy restaurant he took me to with the incredible view across the Thames to St Paul’s.

More than all that, though, it’s the way he makes me feel when I’m around him. He opened his heart to me, and in return, I’ve been neglecting him.

Oh God. I need to see him. In person.

I look up flights on my phone then hesitate. Can I even travel by air this far through a pregnancy? I check that first, and yes, I’m safe to go on a plane up to thirty-six weeks. There’s a flight today with tickets still available, so I book a seat then tell the driver to take me to the airport.

Despite everything, guilt twists in my gut at the thought of leaving Mum down here on her own, so I shoot off a message to a neighbour that Mum’s friendly with, explaining I’m having to go away for a while and asking if she wouldn’t mind putting her head in Mum’s door and checking she’s okay. I don’t mention we’ve had an argument. Mum, who’s all about appearances, would hate that.

For now, though, I need to focus on myself—or rather, more importantly, I need to focus on Aidan. I don’t have any belongings with me. My go bag for the hospital, which I’ve kept ready just in case, was sitting in the hall, and with hindsight, I could have grabbed it on my way out. Oh well, too late. Even without so much as a toothbrush, I have to see him. Today. I have to sort this.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

GRACE

When I arrive at Inverness Airport, I again try Emily and David, praying one of them may be able to come and pick me up. But I still can’t get through to them, and neither has responded to the messages I’ve left. It’s like fate is conspiring against me. The day I need them most, they’re both unreachable, mysteriously so. I don’t understand it.

I’ve no choice but to take a taxi—another one. Between a flight and two cab rides, today is really eating into my savings, but I don’t care. All that matters is I get to see Aidan.

When I reach Bannock, it’s just gone half past four. At Christmas, it would have been dark at this time, but it’s still light, sort of. The sun is obscured by gloomy grey clouds that release a constant drizzle.

I point out Elspeth’s house to the driver, and he pulls up outside. The fare is steep, as he warned me it would be. As well as the forty-minute journey here, it has to cover his return to the city. I pay up, tip him too, then get out.

He does a three-point turn and, with a wave, drives off back the way he came. I approach Elspeth’s door, my arms and legs trembling with nervous excitement. I reach out and ring the bell.

When Aidan showed up on my doorstep without warning, he wore a kilt. My heavy winter coat can’t compete, but hopefully he’ll just be happy to see me.

I wait.

And wait.

Nothing. No sounds from inside. No footsteps drawing closer. Only rain pattering on my hood and the splash of a puddle as a lone van drives by. Otherwise, Bannock is quiet.

This is not at all going to plan.