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No, this was wrong.
This wasn’t him.
It couldn’t be him.
My vision blurred instantly, tears spilling so fast I couldn’t stop them. They dripped off my chin, landing on his chest, mixing with his blood. I let out a sound I didn’t recognise. Something raw, torn straight from my chest.
“No, no, no, no, no.”
My head shook, side to side like I could undo it, like denial alone could change what I was seeing. I think I'm gonna be sick. “You’re not—you’re not here. You can’t be here.” My grip on his hair loosened, then tightened again, like if I let go, he’d disappear. My legs started to give out and the chair wobbled beneath me. A sharp jolt of panic shot through my body as I grabbed onto him for balance before a sob tore out of me, violent and uncontrollable, folding me in half as my forehead pressed against his.
“I didn’t know,” I gasped, the words tumbling over each other. “I didn’t know it was you. I didn’t know.”
My fingers trembled against his face, brushing over his broken skin. A strangled cry ripped from my throat as my body finally gave out. I collapsed forward against him, clinging to him like I could hold him together, like I could anchor him here. Like I hadn’t already lost him. “I’m sorry,” I sobbed into him, over and over, the words dissolving into broken sounds.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
My grip tightened, nails digging into his skin, as if pain could tether him to me. “Please forgive me,” I choked, the words spilling out in broken gasps. My chest caved in on itself, every breath sharp and useless, like my body didn’t remember how to survive this kind of hurt.
The muffled sound of an engine starting from outside, then fading into the distance pulled me back to reality.
Wayne.
I froze.
Then, I jumped into action.
“I have to get you down,” I muttered, my legs unsteady as I reached for the chain hooked above him. My fingers slipped, slick with sweat and blood. “Okay. Okay, just hold on.” My hands dropped to his face instead. I cupped his cheeks, thumbs brushing over bruised, battered skin. “Hey…hey.” My voice softened instinctively, breaking on every word. “Wake up, Jackson…come on…please.” I tapped his cheek gently.
Nothing.
“Jackson.” I shook him a little harder. “You have to wake up. You have to help me, okay? I can’t—I can’t do this without you.” My hands slid down to his shoulders, gripping, shaking. “Come on! Wake up! Please wake up!”
“Mmm.”
My breath caught as his lips parted, a faint groan slipping out as his head rolled to the side. “There you go!” I sobbed, relief crashing into me so fast, it hurt. “That’s it. Come on, stay with me. Stay with me.” His eyelids fluttered. Then slowly—they opened. His pupils blew wide as they struggled to focus, dragging themselves toward me.
“Evie…” His tone was curious, disbelieving.
My knees nearly gave out on the chair, a broken sound tearing from my throat as his voice—oh god, his voice. Deeper. Rougher. Older. But still his—wrapped around my name. “I’m here,” I cried, my forehead pressing against his. “I’m here, Jackson. I’m right here.” Sobs overtook me and I struggled to take a breath.
His split lips twitched into something that almost resembled a smile. A weak, disbelieving breath escaped him, closer to a laugh than anything else as his head tipped back, exposing the line of his throat.
“I must be…going crazy…”
“No?…no!”
Panic surged again as his eyes started to slip closed. “No, you’re not—” I grabbed his shoulders, shaking him harder now. “Stay awake!” I cried, desperation clawing up my throat. “Jackson, please stay awake!” But his head lolled forward as his eyes fell shut again.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
JACKSON
The mind does cruel things when it’s trying to survive. It gives you hope in the shape of the one thing you want most, and then rips it away the second you reach for it. So when I felt her, I didn’t believe it. Not when there was weight pressed against my ribs. Not when something warm clung to me like it belonged there. Not when her voice broke through the ringing in my skull.
“Open your eyes, Jackson!”
I didn’t open my eyes.
