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And just like that, the hope pummelled to the floor, smashing into thousands of little pieces, impossible to be put together again. Of course—I didn’t know what I was thinking putting such stupid ideas like that into my head. Wayne’s arms slid around my waist from behind, pulling me back into him with a rough, possessive force, pressing his erection into my lower spine.

“I would never,” I whispered before my dress was hauled up in one rough motion, the fabric twisting tight in his grip until it pulled uncomfortably at my skin. I flinched before I could stop myself, and that earned a low sound of satisfaction from him. My feet were forced apart before I was shoved, and I stumbled forward, catching myself against the counter as my body was positioned exactly where he wanted it. I stared thoughtlessly at the sink, at the dripping tap, at anything that wasn’t him, because looking at him made it real in a way I couldn’t survive.

“You forget yourself sometimes,” he growled lowly.

My hands tightened on the counter until my knuckles burned. There’s no room for argument. No space for resistance. Just the quiet understanding of what came next if I didn’t stay exactly as I was. So I went still. I didn’t move a muscle. And when my body stopped being mine, my mind followed—slowly at first, then all at once. I stepped back from myself the way I always did. Up and away. The kitchen became something distant and flat as I focused on anything that wasn’t here—anything that couldn’t touch me.

Riding my bike around the street.

Playing in the sprinklers.

Car rides to the beach.

Bonfires in the backyard.

Sandalwood.

Hazel eyes.

Blonde hair.

Dimples.

Tattoos.

And if I stayed far enough away from my own body, maybe I could survive what it was forced to do without me.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

JACKSON

Seven Years Ago

July 12th, 1985

“Do you believe in the afterlife?” Evie asked as her voice broke at the edges, like she was holding herself together by force alone. Even in the dark, I could hear the carefully contained grief trying not to spill over as we laid shoulder to shoulder on the dried grass in her backyard with the expansive night sky above us. Robert’s funeral was today, and Evie could barely stand, leaning into me like her body had forgotten how to carry itself. Her face pressed into my blazer, shaking so hard I thought she might break in half.

But I held her the whole time. Kept my hands steady in her hair while she couldn’t look at the closed casket. Peter couldn’t even finish his eulogy, and Nicola took him home, so I stayed with Evie because leaving wasn’t an option. I ran her a bath when we got back, and I sat outside the door while she sobbed.

“Kinda,” I said quietly as I turned my head slightly, just enough to see her outline against the grass. “I like to think,” I added, “that when I go…everyone I’ve lost is just…there. Waiting. Like they never really left.”

Evie let out a shaky breath beside me, like she was trying not to fall apart on the inhale. “I just…” She trailed off as her hand curled into the grass like she needed something to hold onto that wasn’t disappearing. “I just want to believe Dad’s with Mum,” she said finally, voice no louder than a broken whisper. “That he’s not…alone somewhere dark. That he found her, and that they’re together.”

I shifted onto my side so I could see her properly. “I believe that,” I said. “Nan and Pop are definitely together. She’d never let him get to heaven alone. She’d drag him in by the ear if she had to.” A weak sound escaped her, almost a laugh, but it made something in my chest tighten anyway. I slowly reached for her hand like she might disappear if I moved too fast. Her fingers were cold when I laced them with mine, so I lifted her hand up and pressed a soft kiss against her knuckles—nothing more than a pause of my mouth against her skin. But Evie exhaled, and for a second, her grip tightened around mine.

“I hope that’s true,” she whispered.

And I didn’t trust my voice to reply because she was right there. Inches away. Close enough that I could feel her breath change when she looked at me.

God.

The urge to lean down and connect our lips was killing me. To confess against her mouth how I would haunt the earth until I found her when I died, so she’d have nothing to worry about when her time came. I rolled onto my back instead, forcing my eyes back to the sky. Evie’s voice came again, softer this time, more hesitant.

“Do you…believe in soulmates?”

I didn’t look at her. I couldn’t. But heat crept up my neck anyway.

Did I believe there was only one person placed on this earth for me?