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Eat a salad today. At least one. You can do it.

Thirty minutes at the gym every day this week—NO EXCEPTIONS!

You are a Daughter of The King, Dahl. And there is not anything this life can throw your way that will change that.

Pray.

You can do this.

Tears fill my eyes, and I reach forward with trembling fingers to lift the In Memorium notice with my grandfather’s face.

Benny Holland.

It’s one of my favorite pictures of him from the little vacation we took to Chesapeake Bay last year. He’s smiling, the waves crashing into the shoreline behind him. I remember how he told me he felt stronger at the beach. As though the saltwater gave him strength.

The familiar pain hits me so hard and fast that I don’t even have the chance to throw up a wall and protect myself. Shoulders shaking, I cover my mouth with a shaking hand and close my eyes against the onslaught of tears.

I have no one here. No one to tell me that everything is going to be okay.

To pat my hand and remind me that I am a walking testimony and God has plans for me.

Strong arms come around me, and I lean into the hug, accepting the embrace of a virtual stranger because standing on my own two feet feels impossible right now.

All the memories from my childhood come rushing back.

Early mornings sipping warm milk with my grandfather on the front porch.

Being dropped off while my parents were fighting.

My father leaving without a word.

My grandfather hugging me when my mom was curled up on the floor, drowning in her grief, while my grandmother tried to console her.

Every single ounce of grief and pain I’d buried surfaces beneath the weight of my exhaustion and that one single image.

“I’m sorry,” I choke out.

“Don’t be,” Ryker replies. His hold doesn’t loosen on me, so I shift, wrapping my arms around him and breathing in the scent of his pine and jasmine bodywash. Here, being held by him, the pieces of my broken heart seem to partially reform.

Pulling away, I sniffle and reach beneath my glasses to wipe my eyes. Then, I show Ryker the memorial. “I think it’s just a lot right now.”

“Are you okay?”

I take a deep breath and meet his gaze. “I will be.”

He doesn’t respond, just offers me a slight nod. As he pulls away, I turn back toward the fridge and place the paper back beneath the magnet.

You are a Daughter of The King, Dahl. And there is not anything this life can throw your way that will change that.

Pray.

You can do this.

I re-read those three notes once more.

I know that I am Yours, Lord. Please help me remember to turn to You in the middle of this storm. This is nothing but a chapter in my life, Lord, and You are in control. Thank You for bringing me here. In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.

Taking a deep breath, I surrender the rest of my pain. Then, I turn toward Ryker, who is watching me closely.