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Misunderstood.

I thought something changed between us.

God. I’m so damn naïve.

Quietly, I’m reminded of the role I’m supposed to be playing in this marriage.

Pawn.

Another pawn.

Papa used me as a pawn. Lev did the same thing.

A warm hand rests gently on my shoulder. “Hey. I’m sorry,” Anushka says.

I look at her, meeting her sad eyes. “Nothing to be sorry about.”

“Let’s head back outside, or we could get some cake.”

I don’t think I can be here another minute. “Actually, I think I want to go home.”

“Oh no, you should stay.”

“Really, Anushka? Would you stay?”

She brings her hands together. “No. Let me take you back home.”

“No.” I force a smile. “Go freshen up for your guy.”

“Nonsense. I can see him any old time. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

“Only if you’re sure.”

“Of course. Come on.”

My legs shake as we go back the way we came. The warning I told myself weeks ago rings through my mind louder than ever.

Never trust the devil.

He won’t stop being the devil for me.

Chapter

Twenty-Two

Allegra

Ido two things when I reach home. First, I head to the liquor cabinet in the living room and pour myself a glass of wine.

After I down it, I take a cold shower and get dressed for bed.

I would have drunk more wine, but I’m not a heavy drinker. I’m hardly even a light drinker. Too much, too fast makes me violently sick.

I don’t want to feel worse.

I consider calling Mama. She’s possibly the only person who can make me feel better. Hearing her voice would be great, but there would be little point telling her what’s wrong with me.

I can just imagine her face if I did. She’d be confused that I never saw it coming, then she’d pity me for my stupidity. So that idea is out.