Page 31

“Come on.” I reached out and shoved him, rolling my eyes. “I’m trying to be serious here.”

“So am I,” he insisted. “I’ve never even considered that I might be anything but straight. Until you.” He reached out and grabbed my chin in his hand, his thumb trailing over my lower lip. “If we hadn’t ended up here together, I can promise you that I never would have kissed a guy. It’s not about that. It’s about you. It’s you that I want. And if you can’t understand that, then I don’t think I can make you.”

Well, I didn’t understand it. How Trevor could sit there, looking like a Calvin Klein ad and tell me he thought I was sexy…that didn’t make any sense to me.

“You know what I think,” I challenged him, still sitting there and allowing him to hold my face in his hand. “I think you like that there’s an expiration date to this. That even if something more happened, which it won’t,” I said firmly. “But if it did, you don’t have to worry about me wanting more from you than you’re willing to give. Because if I managed to set aside my morals and…”

“And fuck me?” he suggested when I couldn’t force myself to name an example.

“I…what?” I pulled out of his grip then, shuffling further away as I crossed my arms over my chest. “What?”

“If you set aside your morals and fucked me,” he repeated. “Then what would happen in that tiny little brain of yours?”

“You want me to—”

“I want you, Andy,” he interrupted with a shrug. “I want all of you. All of it with you. And it has nothing to do with an expiration date. In fact, at the moment, that part actually freaks me out.”

“Why?”

“Because what if I realize this is who I am? What if I find out that I want to swallow your cock for the rest of my life? And I can’t. Because you’re going to crawl into a Bible and disappear on me.”

“Don’t act like you’re going to fall in love with me,” I said, huffing out a breath. “This is getting ridiculous.”

“Just because you can’t imagine loving me doesn’t mean I can’t think about falling for you,” he said angrily. “You don’t get to police how I think, Andy.”

Oh, he was so wrong. Falling in love with Trevor Hix was all I could think about. I didn’t believe I was there but…it would be so easy. This Trevor, anyway. The one who read Hamlet, who teased me and touched me and kissed me the way he had the other night. The Trevor that hurt me because I wanted it and not because he just wanted to inflict pain.

Yeah…that Trevor I could fall for.

If that were an option. Which it wasn’t.

God, I was so, so fucked.

“Okay, now you’re freaking me out,” Trevor said.

“Well you’re freaking me out,” I shot back. “When did this go from orgasms to falling in love?”

“Just a natural progression I think,” he answered, a smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. “Look, I’m sorry. I told you that we wouldn’t talk about this and now we’re both sitting here making it weirder than it needs to be. Let’s just get back to Hamlet.”

“Sure,” I agreed, picking my book up again and forcing myself to focus on the page in front of me. But just as I was actually starting to comprehend words again my alarm went off.

“Time to wake up?” Trevor teased.

“Time for mass,” I admitted.

“Hmm, saved by the bell,” he said, getting up and stretching with a groan, the motion causing his shirt to ride up and expose about an inch of his toned stomach. “I should go anyway.”

“Did you…you could come with me,” I offered lamely.

“Really?”

“Obviously you don’t have to,” I said. “Just…you know…you could.”

Why was I inviting him to church with me? Was I really that desperate to be around him?

“Okay,” he said, nodding. “I suppose if I’m going to school here I should at least see the church once.”

“Great.”