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Bingley stood, brushed off his breeches, and sat on the seat across from Darcy. “I am beginning to think I should forego futile attempts at romance altogether. I should simply march in the room and demand a private audience with Jane. In the eyes of God, we are already man and wife. I shall insist that we marry!”
“You will certainly get no argument from Mrs. Bennet.”
“You have a point. Oh, Darcy! Prudence and decorum dictate that Jane must accept my renewed proposal. She never would have ended our engagement in the first place were it not for her youngest sister’s scandal. However, I fear that in light of the way things transpired, I assume too much in thinking my Jane will accept me merely out of prudence. My defection may have taught her that I lack the steadfastness—the staunch conviction of one worthy of being her husband. How can a marriage that is not based upon respect be beneficial to either of us?”
“I take great pleasure in telling you that you are the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed on to marry.” Darcy rubbed his brow. He then wiped his hand over his face. Elizabeth’s harsh words haunted him. That she would utter those words to him when he could offer her every worldly comfort and convenience—the manner of living that every mother in England wished for their daughters, had taught Darcy that all his pretensions amounted to nothing when it came to garnering the respect of a woman like Elizabeth.
Bingley fidgeted in his seat. “On the other hand, what if she believes that I am offering to marry her out of pity—or out of guilt that after I ruined her, the chance of her finding happiness with another man is impossible? That would never do. I love Jane. I cannot live without her? Darcy, what do you think I should do?”
“Speak from your heart.”
Later, as Bingley and he walked up the path leading to Longbourn, Darcy noticed his friend had calmed considerably in view of how anxious he had been the entire time en route to Hertfordshire. It seemed he had transferred all his anxieties and misgivings to Darcy. Whilst Bingley had wrestled over what he should say to persuade Miss Bennet to change her mind, Darcy felt like such a hypocrite after having thoroughly botched his own proposal of marriage to Elizabeth.
Darcy’s heartbeat raced. How will she receive me? Do I stand a chance of winning her good opinion—her heart? Dread gripped him. Bingley is returning to reclaim his lady love. What if Elizabeth sent her suitor away under the same reasoning as Jane had sent Bingley away?
What if the gentleman has returned to claim what he supposes is his? What if she has accepted?
Darcy’s mind was a mixture of troubling suppositions and conjectures by the time they arrived at the door. There was nothing to do now but face the situation head-on. More than anything, he wanted Elizabeth. Only a wedding ring on her finger will impede my quest to capture her heart.
Mr. Darcy at Longbourn! In spite of the generosity he had bestowed toward her family, Elizabeth would never have suspected such a thing. Endeavouring to see how he behaved before jumping to conclusions that might give rise to expectations, Elizabeth said as little to either of the gentlemen as civility would allow. Instead, she sat down to her work, with an eagerness which it did not often command. She ventured only one glance at Mr. Darcy.
He looks serious, as usual, but what should I expect after our last meeting in Kent? He has never been known for his joviality and affability. Perhaps Mama’s attitude contributes to his reserve. Elizabeth sighed. As painful as is the conjecture, it is not improbable.
Bingley, she had likewise espied for an instant, and in that short period saw him looking both pleased and embarrassed. He was received by Mrs. Bennet with a degree of civility which made both Jane and Elizabeth ashamed, especially when contrasted with the cold and ceremonious politeness of her curtsey and address to his friend. Mama’s designs for Mr. Bingley are as blatant as her disdain for Mr. Darcy.
Elizabeth, particularly, who knew that her mother owed to the latter the preservation of her favourite daughter from irremediable infamy, was hurt and distressed to a most painful degree by a distinction so ill applied. How embarrassing was the unseemly spectacle. Mr. Darcy went through such great lengths to bring about the happiness of which my mama so proudly boasts while treating him abdominally.
Rather than dwell upon the shocking display unfolding before her, Elizabeth thought of those parts of the letter from her aunt she had committed to memory.
They met several times, for there was much to be discussed. Wickham of course wanted more than he could get, but at length was reduced to be reasonable. Everything being settled between them, Mr. Darcy’s next step was to make your uncle acquainted with it, and he first called in Gracechurch Street one afternoon when I was out. Mr. Gardiner could not be seen. On further inquiry, Mr. Darcy found that your father was still with him, but would quit town the next morning. He did not judge your father to be a person whom he could so properly consult as your uncle, and therefore, readily postponed seeing him till after the departure of the former. He did not leave his name, and till the next day it was only known that a gentleman had called on business.
Mr. Darcy was punctual in his return, and as Lydia informed you, attended the wedding. He dined with us the next day. Will you be very angry with me, my dear Lizzy, if I take this opportunity of saying how much I like him? His behaviour to us has, in every respect, been agreeable. His understanding and opinions all please me; he wants nothing but a little more liveliness, and that, if he marry prudently, his wife may teach him. I thought him very sly. He hardly ever mentioned your name. But slyness seems the fashion.
The passage from her aunt’s letter that kept beckoning her attention summoned once more.
I always supposed Mr. Darcy held you in high regard judging by his having accompanied his sister when she visited you here in Cheapside. I never truly realised the extent of his esteem. How different our next trip to Derbyshire shall be. Dare I hope my next visit to Pemberley finds me on intimate acquaintance with its new mistress?
Now I must beg one thing of you, my dearest niece. Do not keep me in suspense. Will I soon be wishing you joy?
How ironic that her aunt would presume Mr. Darcy had acted on the basis of some understanding between the two of them when nothing could be further from the truth.
She could bear it no longer. Elizabeth’s seeing Mr. Darcy for the first time since their argument in Kent and the rest of the family’s seeing him for the first time since the Meryton assembly must surely have been a shock to them all. No one more than Elizabeth. But while her sisters had regarded him with decency, her mother was determined to give offense. Overcome with embarrassment by her mother’s behaviour as well as shame over the memory of the last time she saw him in Kent, Elizabeth raced from the room.
Soon thereafter, the sound of tentative footsteps interrupted Elizabeth’s reverie. Before she even knew what she was about, he spoke.
“Miss Elizabeth.”
Elizabeth jumped. The burden of the shame she suffered pursuant to her accusations against Mr. Darcy weighed heavily on her, and especially now that the two of them stood face to face. “Mr. Darcy.”
“Pardon me for startling you. You quitted the room so abruptly. I cannot help but consider it is my fault. Perhaps I should not have come.”
“No—no. I welcome your presence. It is just my mama. I feel I should apologise for her behaviour just then.”
Darcy held up his hand. “No. I should apologise to you for the appalling manner of my proposal.” He took a step closer to Elizabeth. “How can I make amends?”
The rustle of skirts drew their attention towards the path. Through a light cloud of dust, Elizabeth discerned her mother’s approach. “There you are, Lizzy. Mr. Bingley and Jane wish to have a walk to Oakham Mount.” Mrs. Bennet tucked her hair behind her ear and gestured to Elizabeth to walk a few feet away from the gentleman by her side. “Elizabeth, I beg your pardon, but you simply must accompany Jane and Mr. Bingley, and I am afraid to say you must walk with Mr. Darcy. Mary and Kitty will not spare the time. As Jane’s dearest sister, the burden of entertaining Mr. Bingley’s friend falls to you.”
Elizabeth said nothing, but her mother must have read in her silence some discomfort. Mrs. Bennet lowered her voice. “I know how you dislike him. You know I would not ask unless it was absolutely necessary. I believe Mr. Bingley will propose to Jane again. You must allow them a bit of privacy.”